Al Bundy
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Image:Al bundy couch pose2.jpgAl Bundy is a fictional character from the U.S. television series Married... with Children, played by Ed O'Neill.
Contents |
[edit] Character History
The series never specified what name "Al" was short for, but the creators of the show said it was short for "Albert" or just "Al" (it should be noted that in the episode dealing with the overdue library book, the librarian called him Alfonse Bundy). He is a slovenly character who finds himself constantly downtrodden by life and forever regretful of the turns his life has taken since the end of high school, when an injury prevented him from playing college football. The character was so popular that it has left O'Neill somewhat typecast since the series ended production.
Al Bundy is married to Peg Bundy, a shopping-crazed housewife who is unemployed, and does not cook or clean. He mistakenly asked her to marry him after he got drunk and was forced to follow through by her shotgun-wielding father (Peg may have been pregnant at the time). He has two children: Kelly, a promiscuous, dumb blonde, and Bud, a perpetually horny nerd. He is a proud driver of a '73 Dodge Dart, built back in the era of American automotive T-Rex cars, and lives in Chicago. He works as a minimum-wage shoe salesman at the fictional Garry's Shoes and Accessories in the fictional New Market Mall. Al hates his job, loses it several times throughout the series, yet always ends up coming back to it.
Despite being a somewhat phlegmatic and slow person, Bundy has a very dry sense of humor, and a definite love for his family, though that can still be traded for a fair amount of money. On the rare occasions where he enjoys luxury and money, Al indeed expresses love for his family, perhaps indicating his distaste for them is spawned merely by his blaming them for his poor quality of life.
He hates fat women, his job, the prospect of having sex with his wife, his feminist neighbor Marcy D'Arcy, and the French. He loves dirty magazines, free beer, bowling, "nudie" bars, and often cherishes the glory moment of his past - scoring four touchdowns in one game while playing for the fictional Polk High School football team. His favorite movie is Hondo, favorite sitcom - Psycho Dad.
Al's talents include playing baseball, going bowling, cooking on the barbecue (wearing an apron that says "Kiss the Cook, Kill the Wife), getting into and winning fistfights, and being able to survive incredible injuries ranging from falling off the Bundy roof when installing a satellite dish, to getting electrocuted by that same dish, to getting pulverized by a massive woman wrestler in Las Vegas.
Bundy and his friends founded "NO MA'AM," the "National Organization of Men Against Amazonian Masterhood". Its purpose is to fight the increasing power of women all over society. vbh
[edit] Jobs held by Al Bundy
- Shoe Salesman
- Kelly's agent
- Garbage Man
- Fast Food Employee
- Department Store Santa
- Gas Station Attendant (as "Habib")
- Male Erotic Dancer at a Women's Bar
- Founder of NO MA'AM
- Security Guard of Polk High
- NO MA'AM President
- Calendar model
- Policeman on COPS
- Hotel Bellhop
- Can Man
- Reverend and leader of the Church of NO MA'AM ("Reverend Al," episode 10x04)
[edit] Al Bundy Famous Quotes
- Go away, Peg
- Let's Cook!
- Behind every successful man is a woman who didn't marry me
- I'm the only guy in the world who has to wake up to have a nightmare
- Pretty women make us wanna BUY beer. Ugly women make us wanna DRINK beer.
- It's not the dress that makes you look fat, it's the fat that makes you look fat.
- A man's home is his coffin.
- Marriage is like insurance. You pay and pay, you never get anything back
- Home, sweet Hell!
- Let's Rock.
- Women. Can't live with them. The End.
- Hooters, hooters, yum yum yum. Hooters, hooters on a girl that's dumb.
- Let there be baseball, let there be life!
- Steeeeeeeerike!
- Peg, you can stab me with knives, you can beat me with clubs, you can make me open my eyes when we're having sex, but there's no way on earth you can make me get a second job.
- [About the new baby] I would like the record to show that I would rather lie in a bunk bed under Oprah. I would rather engage in a frolicking threesome with Roseanne and her cool husband. I would rather play Naked Twister with every one of the Golden Girls, than have that little screaming doodie geyser at the foot of my bed. I've said my piece, thank you
- I was driving home, God knows why...
- I hate my life. Can't eat, can't sleep, can't bury the wife in the backyard.
- Peg, feed me, or feed me TO something. I just want to be part of the food chain (from The Dance Show episode)
- A fat woman clip-clopped into the shoe store today, said, "I'd like something I'd be comfortable in," so I said, "Try Wyoming!"
[edit] Al Bundy verbal exchanges with people around him
Bud: I've got bad news.
Al: The traditional Bundy greeting.
Al: I want you to fan out and if you find mommy, or something daddy likes a little better, give the Bundy yell.
Bud: I wanna die?
Al: That's the one.
Peggy: I want sex.
Al: So do I, but I see no reason to drag you into it.
Fat Woman: I don't understand. Before aerobics, I used to fit in a size 6. I guess all that jumping expanded my feet.
Al: I see you must've fallen on your butt a time or two.
Fat Woman: How dare you say that to my face!
Al: Well, I'd say it behind your back, but my car's only got a half tank of gas!
Al: Hello, Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms? I have an alcohol question: Who was in the very first Lite Beer commercial? I say it was Bubba Smith but I have a friend who thinks it was... Hello?
Al: Why didn't either of you call 911?
Kids: We forgot the number.
Peggy: If you don't like it you never have to do it again.
Al: Then explain Bud.
Kid: I want my mommy.
Al: So does your dad's brother.
