Biblical courtship

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Biblical courtship, also known as Christian courtship, is a term used to denote a particular response to secular dating culture within various American Christian communities, c. 1985 to present. Motivated by concern for the need of Christian values in contrast to secular dating practices, conservative Christians (principally associated with the homeschooling movement) identified what they saw as key Biblical principles for courtship and romance, and began to disseminate them in the 1980’s. Lifelong bachelor Bill Gothard and his Institute in Basic Life Principles are credited by some with establishing courtship as a comprehensive approach to romance.

The movement gained widespread exposure following the best-selling response to I Kissed Dating Goodbye by homeschooled student Joshua Harris, a popular contemporary treatment of Christian courtship. Full or partial employment of distinctive courtship practices (such as parental involvement, mentoring, family gatherings, and discipleship of young couples) began to be widely practiced within the American homeschool community and is occasionally found in other evangelical/fundamentalist communities.

Proponents of the courtship movement say that is identified by Biblical principles, rather than particular methods or behavioral practices. Proponents assert that contemporary Christian courtship cannot be readily compared to historical norms of courtship practice, such as ancient or modern Hebrew cultural practices or Victorian courtship practices.

The major principles include:

The guardianship responsibility of fathers over single daughters.
The responsibility of parents to prepare their children conscientiously for marriage in all respects, and for youths to be prepared in terms of talents, education, vocation and finances prior to seeking romance.
The mentoring role of parents or other suitable ‘accountability couples’ in a given courtship.
Supervision of courtships to mitigate temptations or abuse, whether of a financial, emotional or sexual nature.
The importance of marriage as an opportunity for Christian service rather than a selfish endeavor.
The importance of singleness before marriage as a time for greater Christian service in the community, rather than a time to be employed in selfish pursuits.
The importance of counsel and evaluation by friends and family as a relationship progresses.
The importance of honesty and getting to know one another as real people in ‘normal life’ during courtship (as contrasted with the dating habit of meeting during special events and entertainment while on one's best behavior.)
The maintenance of emotional and physical purity.

Each courtship is unique insofar as the methods used to honor these principles will be unique in every given situation. A variety of courtship literature has been established to give guidance to singles and their families regarding the major Biblical principles. A growing body of testimony provides practical insights and understanding into the methods by which courtship advocates have deployed the universal principles of courtship into unique circumstances.

[edit] Controversy

Many prominent evangelical ministers and Christians consider the "Christian Courtship" movement to be anachronistic, impractical, and unsupported in scripture. Some fear that the movement has unfairly stigmatized innocent and healthy social contact between unmarried men and women, especially those who no longer live with their parents, and that the resulting fear and shame is keeping potential couples apart.