Etiquette in Europe
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As expectations regarding good manners differ from person to person and vary according to each situation, no treatise on the rules of etiquette nor any list of faux pas can ever be complete. As the perception of behaviors and actions vary, intercultural competence is essential. However, a lack of knowledge about the customs and expectations of people in Europe can make even the best intentioned person seem rude, foolish, or worse.
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[edit] European etiquette globally
Many customs regarding good behavior have been exported to places with cultural traditions based in Europe, including the Americas, Oceania, South Africa and so on. Therefore, much of this article is limited to the discussion of etiquette which is peculiar to only a particular part of Europe.
[edit] Generalizations
While Europe contains a wide variety of social traditions, it is also (excluding Russia) relatively compact, well-traveled and urbanized compared to many other continents or cultural areas. As such many exceptions regarding etiquette are shared across Europe.
[edit] Consideration
- Etiquette begins with some sensitivity to the perceptions and feelings of others and the intention not to offend. Lighting a cigarette in the home of a non-smoker, calling someone too late at night, failing to thank and compliment a host, using a mobile phone in a theatre, taking the last bit of a dish without offering it to others and many other examples of bad manners fall into this category.
[edit] Distinctions
- As elsewhere, many people in Europe are proud of their distinct ethnic, national, religious, linguistic or cultural identity and may be insulted by those who fail to make the distinction. For example, a French-speaking Belgian may be offended if referred to as French person.
- Some of these distinctions are rather esoteric, such as the understanding that some natives of Netherlands prefer to identify as Frisian or Flemish rather than Dutch.
- Although “lumping” people together is the biggest danger, sometimes “splitting” can be a faux pas as well. An example might be trying to discern whether someone is Irish Catholic or Anglo-Irish.
- When in doubt, avoid characterizing people according to a cultural identity. Make inquiries regarding identity carefully (if at all).
[edit] Drinking
- It is polite for people to invite each other to drink first or to wait until everyone is ready to drink at the same time by toasting.
- When giving a toast, participants generally expect eye contact. Expectations regarding the touching together of drinking vessels vary greatly. In some circles, its considered unsophisticated to touch glasses whatsoever. In other situations, drinking glasses are contused with great vigor and any resultant spillage or breakage is regarded as part of the fun.
[edit] Eating
- It is often impolite to begin eating before others are ready to begin, or to eat in front of another person without offering to share. Typically all wait for the host, eldest person present or guest of honor to say "let's begin" in some way.
- In a situation such as a large banquet table or a restaurant where the waiter has failed to bring all food to the table at the same time, it is gracious to insist that others begin eating first while their meals are still warm.
- It is good manners to hold the knife in the right hand and the fork in the other throughout the meal. This contrasts with the "zig zag method" that is a hallmark of good table manners in the USA. Crossing one's cutlery on the plate means one is taking a break but has not finished eating. Upon finishing a meal, the knife and fork should be left more or less parallel or else it hints that one hasn't eaten enough. <ref name="Window on the World"/>
- Resting one's hands under the table or one's elbow on it are inappropriate for formal settings.
[edit] Flowers
- In many areas of Europe, even numbers of flowers less than a dozen are appropriate only for funerals. This rule does not apply to larger arrangements. Also, certain flowers (such as chrysanthemums) are given only at funerals and most florists will advise against them. As red roses typically connote romantic feeling, they are inappropriate for other circumstances. <ref name="Window on the World">Window on the World</ref>
[edit] Football
- Various forms of football (including rugby, Gaelic football and especially the game known in the USA as soccer) are immensely popular in Europe. Inviting someone to a game is a very friendly gesture and not accepting it may be impolite even if the invitee is not a sports fan. One is expected to cheer for (or at least not criticize) the host's favored team. <ref>Understanding France</ref>
[edit] Handshakes
- Shaking hands while wearing gloves is widely considered impolite. This does not apply to gloves for women designed to be worn indoors. <ref>Bartelby's</ref>
[edit] Hats and Coats
- Among many segments of the European population, it is considered rude for men to wear hats or other head coverings indoors, especially in regards to churches, private homes and respected public institution. <ref>Victorian Age Etiquette</ref>
- Anyone wearing coats, boots and other outer garments inside someone’s home is often frowned upon as well. Sitting down at the table to eat with a hat, outerwear or other inappropriate attire is still worse.<ref>Victorian Age Etiquette</ref>
[edit] Language
- Rules of language belong more to a language textbook than this article, but do remember that some languages mark familiarity and/or respect using methods such as the T-V distinction. This often applies to common phrases such as "how are you?" that are sometimes learned in isolation (such as from phrase books).<ref>Hervey Sandor, Ian Higgins, Sandor G J Hervey. (2002) Thinking French Translation, Routledge (UK). p. 46. ISBN 0415255228.</ref>
- Addressing people with the inappropriately familiar form may be seen as derogatory, insulting, or even aggressive. Conversely, forms that are inappropriately formal may be seen as impolitely snobbish. <ref>Michel Walter Pharand. (2001) Bernard Shaw and the French, University Press of Florida. p. 113. ISBN 0813018285.</ref>
[edit] Luck
- Some things formerly prohibited by superstitions surrounding bad luck remain as examples of bad manners. Opening an umbrella indoors and lighting a cigarette are two examples. <ref>Almanac</ref>
[edit] Money
- Talking or asking about one's personal wealth, possessions or success in business is widely viewed as vulgar. People will rarely say how much money they make or have in the bank nor will they request such information from someone else. It is a taboo to ask colleagues about their salary and in some places of work it is forbidden.<ref name="loonzakje">De Belg laat niet graag in zijn loonzakje kijken. [1]</ref>
[edit] Multiculturalism
- The notion of multiculturalism is widely accepted among the European population and there is a considerable understanding about how different rules apply to different peoples. Accordingly, expecting (for example) a Hasidic Jew to remove his hat when visiting a Church or to badger a Hindu to accept food that violates her dietary laws is a faux pas that would offend many Europeans (and educated people elsewhere) regardless of their own denominational backgrounds.
[edit] Names
- In many parts of Europe, it is inappropriate to use someone's first name until a certain level of friendship is attained. Typically, this formality is maintained until one person says “you can call me (first name)” and the other person responds in kind. Even in areas where this guideline holds true it probably doesn’t apply among people below a certain age group nor in some very informal settings.<ref name="1,2122,,00.html"/>
[edit] Pointing
- Pointing at people with the index figure is widely regarded as at least mildly impolite.
[edit] Seating
- Good manners dictate that in most situations, people in apparent good health surrender their seats to the elderly, handicapped people and pregnant women. Men often surrender their seats to women regardless of other factors.
[edit] Socks
- White socks, including the style associated with athleticism in the USA, are widely regarded as inappropriate for adult men and may prompt snickering. Tennis courts are a specific exception.
[edit] Visiting
- Many Europeans feel it is rude to visit someone's home without bringing a token gift such as sweets, a small toy for the host's child, a beverage to be shared, a book they know the host will enjoy, flowers or whatever. Even young people who observe this custom less stringently enjoy being on the receiving end.
- This custom holds true whether answering an invitation or dropping by unexpectedly, although the latter is almost certainly a faux pas unless the host has previously indicated that such surprise visits are welcome.
[edit] Weddings
- In most European wedding traditions, wearing white is reserved for the bride. Women especially should avoid dressing in white or colors that could be mistaken for white in a dimly lit banquet hall. White combined with other colors (such as a white blouse with an outfit) is fine. Avoid wearing a dress more elegant or ostentatious than the bride's own.
- Black is not very appropriate for weddings. Dark blue and dark brown are fine. Men in black suits should balance that with an element such as a brightly colored neck tie to avoid looking like one is dressed for a funeral.
[edit] Special advice for Americans
- It is worth noting that American Foreign Policy is a deeply emotional issue for both Americans and Europeans. Even friends who believe they share similar political viewpoints can quickly find themselves in contention when the topic is discussed. Americans should try to remember that seemingly anti-American statements may not be intended to offend. On the other hand, statements by Americans are often taken in the most negative way. Avoiding the subject entirely is no assurance of good will as such an avoidance can be seen as arrogant.
- Perhaps the only helpful advice for Americans in this arena is to do as much listening and as little talking about this subject as possible without losing one’s cool. Faux pas regarding attire and the choice of wine at dinner are minuscule when compared to bad feelings that can arise from political discussion. Further commentary on this matter is beyond the scope of this article.
[edit] European etiquette by region
This article categorizes countries according to the scheme for geographic subregions as delineated by the United Nations (other categorizations vary). As it falls outside the parameters this scheme, Turkey is discussed in the article about etiquette in Asia.
[edit] Eastern Europe
- Russian naming conventions are common throughout Eastern Europe, particularly Belarus, the Czech Republic, Slovakia, Ukraine and Russia itself. Many surnames change based on gender. For example Mr. Ivanov's wife might be Mrs. Ivanová. Accidentally referring to him as Mr. Ivanová or her as Mrs. Ivanov is a serious faux pas. Since understanding these suffixes and how they are applied in a specific region is a relatively simple matter to learn, even monoglot speakers of English are expected to use them correctly.
- Rather than greeting guests and conducting transactions (such as paying a delivery man) over the threshold, it is more polite to allow people to step inside or to step outside to meet them.
[edit] Armenia
- In Armenia, discussion regarding Turkey or other parts of the Muslim world may be incendiary due to recollections of the possible Armenian genocide in the early 20th century.
[edit] Czech Republic
- As Czechoslovakia ceased to exist in 1993, it is inconsiderate to use this name to refer to the Czech Republic.
[edit] Hungary
- In Hungary, people traditionally consider clinking their glasses/mugs when drinking beer to be impolite. Clinking with any other alcoholic beverage, such as wine, champagne or hard liquor is customary.
- Refrain from making jokes about or pointing out that the English name Hungary is a homonym with "hungry".
[edit] Poland
- In many areas of Poland, traditions remain strong and it can be impolite to dress casually for Easter, Christmas or other family celebrations.
- Raised with patriotic notions surrounding the Polish cavalry, most Poles are disgusted by the idea of human consumption of horse meat.
- When offering a cigarette, one should open the box and allow the receiver to take one rather than handling the cigarette to someone directly. It is also customary to light cigarettes for others, especially for women.
- When offering a sweet, a little toy for children or a similar small item from a set or an assortment, it's impolite to select one for the receiver. It's also very impolite to take more than one item when selecting one from an assortment.
- In schools, children may celebrate their own birthdays by bringing wrapped candy for the whole class.
[edit] Romania and Moldavia
- The region within Romania known as Transylvania is a major area of the country and home to over 7 million people, including sizeable numbers of Hungarians, Roma and Germans. Don’t trivialize it mentioning by Dracula or the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
[edit] Russia
- In Russia, leaving an empty bottle on the table is widely frowned upon. When a bottle is empty it should be placed in the trash or even moved to the floor so that it is off the table.
- When passing people in a theater row, face them. It is considered rude to pass with your back toward the other person.
- As shoes are often taken off and left in the foyer before entering a home, it is polite to ask one's host if they should be removed.
[edit] Slovakia
- As Czechoslovakia ceased to exist in 1993, it is inconsiderate to use this name to refer to Slovakia.
[edit] Northern Europe
[edit] Estonia
- In Estonia, tradition dictates that bread is ripped with the fingers rather than cut with a knife.
[edit] Ireland
- Although the Irish share some cultural values with the British (including some points of etiquette mentioned in regards to the United Kingdom elsewhere in this article, the Republic of Ireland has been independent of the United Kingdom since 1948 and any confusion to the contrary is likely to offend.
- British Isles is a correct geographical term, but in most contexts it is more polite to say “Ireland and the UK” or even “these islands.”
- Although Éire is the official name of the state in the Irish language and will be seen on stamps, currency, etc., it is better to refer to the country as "Ireland" or "the Republic of Ireland" in spoken conversation. Relentless use of “Éire” by RTE announcers has lowered its popularity among the Irish.
- In some contexts, the terms "Ireland" and "Irish" refer to just the Republic and in other contexts they include Northern Ireland. For example, phrases such as "the Irish economy" and "Irish politics" exclude Northern Ireland while "the Irish weather" and "archaeology in Ireland" almost certainly include it. One almost has to be Irish to understand the subtleties of this usage and the Irish understand that other people may be confused.
- Many Irish will remain pleasant and polite rather than reveal their displeasure over certain actions by strangers, especially overseas visitors. Nevertheless, unflattering comparisons between Ireland and the visitor’s homeland, exploitation of a host's hospitality and other boorish behavior will be well-noted and the perpetrators of such will be avoided.
- The legal ban on smoking in workplaces (including bars, restaurants and offices) is almost universally observed. Rather than lighting a cigarette in someone's house or asking permission to smoke, ask to be excused to step outside for a cigarette.
- When invited to a person's house for dinner, bring sweets or a bottle of wine. Do not bring food other than a dessert as this implies the host's food is of an inferior quality. Gifts of flowers are usually reserved for romantic exchanges but are acceptable when its clear that isn't the intention (such as one couple bringing another couple "a bouquet for the table"). As a guideline, don't spend less than €5.00 on your dinner gift or more than €20.00.
- When visiting, guests are obligated to accept a beverage (at least) and perhaps a snack and hosts are obligated to keep is not impolite for a guest to make a request such as "do you have anything cold to drink instead?" but a request that is too specific ("do you have coffee?") and can not be filled may distress a polite host and have undesired results, such as the host sending their spouse to buy some.
- When someone visits around mealtime, it is typical to lay a place at the table and insist that they join.
- Despite invidious stereotypes perpetuated overseas, over-indulgence in alcohol is taboo in Ireland and uncommon except among very young people. Pubs are a place to socialize rather than a place to drink to a stupor. Implying otherwise is rude.
- When out with friends, co-workers or relatives, it is customary for people to take turns buying rounds of drinks. <ref> SIRC [2]</ref>
- Do not buy gifts for work colleagues in Ireland. To do so would be regarded as strange, inappropriate and unprofessional. On the other hand, on returning from a trip abroad, it is gracious to bring a food treat (such as a box of sweets) to be shared around .
- Niceties such as saying "good morning" to a shopkeeper upon entering a store or "thank you" to the driver when disembarking a bus are prevalent in Irish society.
- When noting the customs mentioned below in regards to the United Kingdom, many matters of politeness apply such as queuing up for items, saying "excuse me" whenever accidental body contact occurs, and not eating fried potatoes with the fingers in a restaurant. The Irish tend to be a bit more effusive and less restrained than their neighbors in the UK and might be more likely to (for example) hug their in-laws than make due with a handshake.
[edit] Scandinavia
As Denmark, Finland, Iceland, Norway and Sweden share aspects of a common cultural heritage, some guidelines about etiquette may apply throughout Scandinavia. It is still inconsiderate, however, to blur the distinctions between these nations.
- Many Scandinavian people are proud of their heritage as explorers and colonizers during the Viking Age, but it is impolite to trivialize that heritage by suggesting that all Vikings did was go on raids, perpetuating false stereotypes such as the wearing of horned helmets, or imply that Vikings are what one should think of when Scandinavia is mentioned.<ref>Cavendish International (Asia) Pte. Ltd. ISBN 155868767X.</ref>
- Not finishing one's food implies that the taste or quality was poor and it could not be eaten or the host does not correctly serve the quantity of food one needs. <ref name="Window on the World"/>
- The legal ban on smoking in public places (including bars, restaurants and offices) is almost universally observed. Rather than lighting a cigarette in someone's house or asking permission to smoke, ask to be excused to step outside for a cigarette.
- In many Scandinavian homes, shoes and outer wear is removed in the foyer.
- In some Scandinavian cultures, that of Finland most notably, people tend to be more reserved and soft spoken than others. In social situations, they may be more comfortable with periods of silence than people from the English-speaking world are accustomed to and may regard behavior appropriate in many other places as boisterous.
- In Scandinavian countries and perhaps Sweden in particular, titles such as Mr., Mrs., Professor, Doctor, etc. are not used. People usually call each others by first name regardless of relationship, and the T-V distinction is not used even though it exists.
- It is important to be on time. If you are supposed to meet a person at 20.00, it is considered impolite to be late, and you are expected to be there at the precise time.
[edit] United Kingdom
Image:Thegeorgesouthwarksign.jpg
- In the United Kingdom, a "V sign" made with palm towards the viewer can signify either "V for victory" or the "peace" sign of the 1960s. Done backwards, with the palm towards to one giving the signal, this gesture is the same as "the finger". The V sign as an insult<ref name="2006_08.html"/>
- A small gift for the host given upon entering such as flowers for the table or wine or chocolates for the meal combined with subdued thanks is common. <ref name="1,2122,,00.html"/>
- In business mentioning when the person who called a meeting is late can be seen as impolite; if they are important enough to call the meeting they are important enough to wait for.
- Tea or coffee are offered to guests almost universally. Among some groups, especially at night, a glass of wine or beer may take its place.
- Many people in the UK are more reserved and less "touchy" than (for example) Americans or Australians. Kissing or hugging people upon first introduction or after only a brief period of acquaintance is often unwelcome. This can extend even to people with one has a special relationship, such as one's in-laws or cousins.
- Similarly, touching someone to get their attention (except in extremis) or accidentally touching someone without saying "excuse me" or "sorry" is impolite.
- Eating chips (French fries) with fingers is not done in a restaurant or at a meal in someone's home. Use a fork instead. This does not apply in a fast food establishment such as McDonald's. Fingers are used to eat meat on the bone, such as a chicken legs.
- Queuing (i.e. "lining up") is expected when there is any demand for an item. The only exception to this is a pub. However it is still rude to accept service from a barperson before someone who has been waiting longer. A simple nod or subtle gesture towards the person who has waited longer will be understood by any experienced server.
- When out with friends, co-workers or relatives, it is customary for people to take turns buying rounds of drinks. <ref> SIRC [3]</ref>
- Whereas "asking nicely" is often sufficient for politeness in the USA, tone of voice is not adequate for polite requests in the UK: one should include "please" with all requests.
- Summoning shop workers or servers with gestures, or particularly with snapping of fingers, is considered rude.
- It is considered rude not to bag one's own groceries at the check-out. This is a faux pas commonly committed by Americans as bags are commonly packed by store employees in the US. In some shops, particularly supermarkets, help with packing may be offered by the cashier before they begin checking out your items.
- England is a kingdom within the United Kingdom. Ignoring the subdivisions of the United Kingdom and referring to the whole as "England" is insulting to the inhabitants of England, Wales, Scotland, and Northern Ireland alike. Sensitivity is appreciated regarding national identity (some prefer to be "English", some "British", some "Scottish", etc.).
- In Northern Ireland, be particularly aware that some people identify as "Irish" while others identify as "British" and a faux pas made in this area will rarely pass without comment. The term "Northern Irish" is perhaps least likely to offend. Asking people whether they are Catholic or Protestant is insensitive.
[edit] Southern Europe
[edit] Croatia
- In many homes throughout Croatia, shoes are taken off before entering. When a host insists the guest keep them on it may a sign of respect.
- The a "V sign" and "thumbs up" mean “victory” and “okay” respectively. Making an "O" with index and thumb with other fingers extended has positive meaning, and is usually connected with something deemed "first class", such as well prepared food. Elsewhere in Europe these gestures can have impolite meanings.
- Kissing cheeks after or while handshaking is extremely impolite, even when done by people for whom it is their custom elsewhere.
- Not including "please" with a request is impolite, especially when addressing an older person or when a male is addressing a female.
- When offering cigars, sweets, or similar items from a set or an assortment, it's considered extremely impolite to select one for the receiver. It's also considered rude to take more than one item when selecting one from the assortment.
- To introduce one’s self before introducing a companion is rude.
[edit] Greece
- In Greece, signifying "five" or "stop" by holding up five fingers with the palm towards the observer be mistaken for an offensive gesture akin to the finger. When signifying "five" the palm should face the speaker to avoid a faux pas. A more obvious obscene gesture to be avoided involves making a fist with the thumb placed between the middle and index fingers. <ref name="2006_08.html"/>
- "Hello" is conveyed with a raised index finger and a closed palm. North American-style hand waving is rude. <ref name="1,2122,,00.html"/>
- "Goodbye" is indicated by facing the palm towards yourself with fingers raised and then moving the fingers up and down. Resembling the gesture used elsewhere for "come here," this gesture can confuse non-Greeks.
- Nodding and head shaking ("yes" and "no") is performed by moving the head only once. Shaking the head several times may be considered bizarre, uncivilized, silly or simply incomprehensible.
- Another way "no" is conveyed is by a slight raise of the eyebrows, often accompanied by a "tsk" sound. Failing to receive the message can result in embarrassment.
- Greeks have a saying about stingy people that amounts to, "he would not even offer a glass of water." Not offering a guest a glass of water or other refreshing drink can be rude, especially when the warm Mediterranean weather has taken its toll on the visitor.
- Whether coming to sightsee or to pray, it is taboo to enter a church with short pants, sleeveless shirts, or other immodest clothes. In many such places, it is customary for women to cover their hair with a veil or kerchief. In conversation, it is polite to have at least a basic understanding of how Greek Orthodoxy is distinct from the other Christian traditions.
[edit] Italy and the Vatican
- When visiting a home in Italy it is impolite to remove one's coat until asked.
- Rather than biting into a piece of bread, it is more polite to break off (not cut with a knife) a small piece and place it whole into one's mouth. <ref name="Window on the World"/>
- Upon finishing a meal, don't cross the fork and knife on the plate. They should be left more or less parallel or else it hints that one hasn't eaten enough. <ref name="Window on the World"/>
- Putting one's hat on a bed is impolite and reminiscent of how a priest would lay his hat on a bed while performing last rites.
- Upon entering a shop, it is proper to greet the proprietor with Buongiorno or some other polite greeting, even if just browsing.
- Asking for the check immediately after finishing one's meal is impolite. One's dinning companions will typically expect time to relax and enjoy un caffè.
- Whether coming to sightsee or to pray, it is taboo to enter a church in Italy or Vatican City with short pants, sleeveless shirts, or other immodest clothing. In many cases, neither discussion about personal piety nor about "Church scandals" will be well-received.
[edit] Portugal
- When being introduced to someone or greeting a friend in Portugal, it is common to shake hands and, if one or both of the participants is female, a kiss on each cheek is exchanged as well. This also applies for good-byes.
- It is extremely rude to answer in Spanish when talked to in Portuguese. Not all portuguese people understand Spanish, and most take offense at the assumption. Also, avoid saying "I don't speak Spanish" when talked to in Portuguese.
[edit] Serbia
- in Serbia, leaving a glass full when one is done drinking represents inviting wealth and prosperity into a home.
[edit] Spain
- Compared to many people from the English-speaking world, Spaniards tend to have more relaxed and casual behavior and are more comfortable with loud talk, exaggerated gestures and physical contact.<ref name="AR2006090701067.html"> Erin Richards Cultural Etiquette September 19th, 2006 </ref>
- In Spain, observe the same guidelines regarding handshakes and kisses on the check mentioned above in regards to Portugal.
- At restaurants it is considered rude for the staff to bring a customer the check without the customer first requesting it. <ref name="2006_08.html"/>
- Leaving a tip at restaurants and drinking establishments is a common practice, though not is not necessary and the amount usually a low. Normally one leaves coins from the change when paying with cash and no tip at all when paying by credit card.
- Within Spain there are at least the four distinct ethno-linguistic groups: Galician, Catalan, Spanish & Basque). Nearly everyone speaks the dominant language, Castellano spanish, but being ignorant of the other cultures is impolite. Also, do not refer to the other three languages as dialects of Spanish.
- In a related issue, there are independence movements within Spain among the groups mentioned with strong feelings on both sides of the issue. Be careful and respectful when discussing this.
- Some other "hot issues" in Spain are bullfighting, religion, and political issues surrounding fascism and nationalism. Regarding the last one, as Spain suffered a civil war within living memory, emotions run deep.
- One usually waves and/or says hello to people in such situations as entering a shop and seeing shopkeeper or spying a neighbor, even someone with whom one has never had conversation.
- When entering a place where there's people eating, it is polite to tell them to enjoy their meal que aproveche. Of course this wouldn't apply in a large restaurant.
[edit] Turkey
- As Turkey has a Muslim majority, many points of etiquette in the Middle East apply here as well. As much of Turkey is in Asia and many points of etiquette in Asia apply here as well, such as notes regarding the respect paid to older people.
- Any comment to a person about the appearance of the latter's female relatives or wife might be seen as rude.
- If invited to dinner, one is expected to bring something (usually dessert). Avoid bringing alcohol unless sure that the host partakes.
- Friends might greet each other by handshaking and touching or kissing the cheeks. This is inappropriate for business.
- Shoes are often taken off in the foyer (not outside the house unless they are especially dirty). Slippers may be offered. It is a faux pas to refuse slippers unless one’s socks are extremely clean and in good condition.
- Hosts typically insist that guests eat keep eating. One needn’t each much, but should at least taste a bit from everything on the table and express appreciation for the taste and quality.
[edit] Western Europe
[edit] Belgium
- Belgium contains several separate ethno-linguistic communities, including the Dutch-speaking Flemish people of Flanders, the larger French-speaking community of the Walloon region and a relatively small German-speaking community in the east of Belgium. At times terms such as Walloon or Flemish indicate cultural identity, while other times they indicate only geographical location. Belgians themselves are still wrestling with these terms and a little understanding of that fact goes a long way.
- The Flemish political party Vlaams Belang is excluded from any coalition government by the so-called cordon sanitaire and this is a bad issue to raise in conversation. Many Belgians are secretive about their political views, as reflected in a discrepancy between exit polls and actual election results. <ref name="peilingen">Ongeloofwaardige opiniepeiling van De Standaard/VRT [4]</ref>
[edit] France
Image:Bordeaux Pont de Pierre.jpg
- Understanding the pride people in France have for their own language, many English-speakers are reluctant to demonstrate their own lack of French language skill and bad pronunciation. However, it is always impolite to open a conversation with a stranger with English (except perhaps if the interlocutor just spoke English, and even then "May I please speak to you in English as well?" is polite). Instead, etiquette demands that something at resembling pardonnez-moi, svp. parlez-vous anglais? be voiced in an appropriately non-arrogant manner. <ref>Sally Adamson Taylor. (2004) Culture Shock! France (Culture Shock! France), Marshall Cavendish International (Asia) Pte. Ltd. ISBN 155868767X.</ref>
- Not finishing one's food implies that the taste or quality was poor and it could not be eaten or the host does not correctly serve the quantity of food one needs. <ref name="Window on the World"/>
- The rule about not pouring one's drink first mentioned at the start of this article does apply. However, with a newly opened bottle of wine it shows refinement to pour a little bit of wine in one's own glass first so that stray cork particles don't go into another person's drink. <ref name="Window on the World"/>
- Bringing a bottle of wine to someone's house for dinner suggests that the hosts won't be providing wine of adequate quality. An exception might be when one explains that they have discovered a good wine and wish to share a sample and get their host's opinion. <ref>Giving Gifts</ref>
- It is a faux pas to judge a wine based on only one characteristic, such as the region where it is produced or, (most especially) price.<ref>Giving Gifts</ref>
- Putting a piece of bread on one's plate is uncouth. Leave it on the table beside the plate. Also, rather than biting into a piece of bread, it is more polite to break off (not cut with a knife) a small piece and place it whole into one's mouth. <ref name="Window on the World"/><ref>Food and Culture </ref>
- It is inappropriate to rest one's hands under the table or to have one's elbows on it. <ref name="Window on the World"/>
- Putting a loaf of bread upside down. It is a bad omen because it is said that the loaf that was put upside down by the baker was reserved for the executioner. <ref>Food and Culture </ref>
- For both sexes, shaking hands with a woman in a casual context is distancing. Embracing (holding each other loosely in the arms while lightly kissing each other's cheek) is usually expected. The number of cheek-kisses varies from region to region between 2, 3 or 4. <ref>Ming TV</ref>
- The American "okay gesture" means "zero" or "worthless" in France. <ref name="airman/0406"/>
[edit] Germany
- People in Germany do not typically hug or kiss to be polite. Such affectionate greetings are usually reserved for close friends and relatives.
- Be wary of touching someone who is not an intimate or close friend. It may be considered inappropriate. This may extend to a person's belongings.
- If the name of a person is known, it is expected to be added to a salutation (i.e. "Guten Tag, Herr/Frau ..." instead of just "Guten Tag").
- It has become impolite to refer to an adolescent unmarried female as Fräulein because the term has been used increasingly to refer to misbehaving little girls. Young single women should now be referred to as Frau.<ref name="fauxpas2"/>
- It is good manners to greet and say good bye to strangers in such situations as a waiting room or a shared table in a fast food restaurant. In some situations, like when entering an elevator, such pleasantries are optional.
- Although discussing political topics is not generally frowned upon, it is impolite to ask how someone will vote in a specific matter.
- The Third Reich is a sensitive subject. Nazi symbolism and gestures are illegal in Germany.
- People often wish each other Guten Appetit ("good appetite") before eating.
- German pubs (especially older ones) commonly feature a bell hanging over the counter. One shouldn't ring it unless they intend to buy a round for everyone in the establishment.
- In a workplace, people often bring cake or sweets or buy lunch for colleagues on their own birthday or when leaving the company. Colleagues may collect money for a shared gift on such occasions.
- Public display of affection, such as holding hands or kissing, is commonly accepted but may be inappropriate in certain surroundings (workplace, church, high class restaurants, etc.)
- Waving of one's hand from left to right in front of the face is a gesture indicating that someone is crazy or deranged. The "tapped in the head" and "you've got a screw loose" gestures used among English speakers are employed by Germans as well. All of them are rude.
- People in Germany use phrases like "please" and "thank you" more sparingly than many English-speakers and may use voice tones that sound unkind to those unfamiliar with inflection in the German language. Accordingly, be careful not to mistake this differences for rudeness or hostility when there is none.
- Some of the points of etiquette mentioned here will hold true for German-speaking people elsewhere in Europe including those in Austria, Liechtenstein, Luxembourg, Switzerland, the South Tyrol province of Italy and various locations in Eastern Europe (especially within Russia and Kazakhstan).
[edit] Netherlands
- Holland is a region within the Netherlands. As such well-known cities as Amsterdam and Rotterdam are in this region, calling time spent there "a trip to Holland" is accurate. However, referring to the whole country as "Holland" is incorrect. Most Dutch people will not be offended by this mistake, as they themselves use the reference, for instance when discussing sports-related events. <ref name="1,2122,,00.html"/>
- Being invited to visit in the afternoon does not imply a dinner invitation and it is rude for the guest to extend such a visit into mealtime unless specifically invited further by the host.
- Promptness is a sign of courtesy to the extent that being more than five minutes early or late is impolite, even with close friends.
- Teasing one another or making fun of third parties is a common dynamic for creating bond of friendship. An unwillingness to engage in this playfulness can be seen as arrogant.
- In some parts of the country, it is traditional to kiss family and friends three times on alternating cheeks upon each meeting.
- When arriving at a birthday party, one is expected to shake hands with everyone present and to congratulate everyone related to the occasion. For example, children are congratulated on the birthday of their parents and vice versa. <ref>The Undutchables by Colin White & Lourie Boucke, page 135</ref>
- As mentioned in regards to Germany, people in the Netherlands customarily provide treats for co-workers on their own birthday.<ref>The Undutchables by Colin White & Lourie Boucke, page 135</ref>
- When served cookies with tea or coffee, one is expected to take and eat only one. A host who then closes up the cookie jar and stows it away, would not be seen as rude by local standards. In Southern regions of the country, it is more common for hosts to take pleasure from feeding guests in a manner more keeping with many other European countries. <ref>The Undutchables by Colin White & Lourie Boucke, page 176</ref>
- When out with friends, co-workers or relatives, it is customary for people to take turns buying rounds of drinks.
[edit] See also
- Etiquette in Africa
- Etiquette in Asia
- Etiquette in Australia and New Zealand
- Etiquette in Canada and the United States
- Etiquette in Latin America
- Etiquette in the Middle East
- Worldwide etiquette
[edit] References
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