List of staff at South Park Elementary
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This page is a list of staff at South Park Elementary. This does not include family members, townsfolk, the children, occasional characters or minor characters.
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[edit] Current Staff
[edit] Mr(s). Herbert Garrison
For the first eight seasons of the series, Herbert Garrison was known as Mr. Garrison but in season 9 underwent sex reassignment surgery. The character is thereafter known as Mrs. Garrison, despite being unmarried.
He's usually seen with a puppet called Mr. Hat, who was replaced twice, once by Mr. Twig, and later and more permanently by Mr. Slave. For the first three seasons, Mr. Garrison was the third-grade teacher at South Park Elementary School. In the fourth season he was suspended indefinitely for trying to solicit sex from Cartman, and afterwards he left the school to publish a sexually explicit romance novel titled In the Valley of Penises (a possible reference to Jean M. Auel's The Valley of Horses, which was also very sexually explicit), but went into hiding after the book was "considered the best homoerotic novel since Huckleberry Finn". After he admitted his homosexuality, he tried to re-acquire his job as third-grade teacher but was turned down because the school did not hire gays. He was later rehired as the kindergarten teacher, where he enjoyed teaching sex education. By the end of the sixth season he was promoted to the fourth grade after the death of Ms. Choksondik. In contrast to the naïve majority of adults in South Park, Mrs. Garrison is one of the show's more cynical characters.
[edit] Mr. Mackey
Mr. Mackey is the school counsellor, well-known for his huge head and inserting "m'kay" into sentences. He has occasionally taught classes at the school, and taught sex education with Ms. Choksondik. During this time he had a sexual relationship with Ms. Choksondik until her death. After her death, he took over the fourth grade class until Mr. Garrison returned.
[edit] Nurse Gollum
Nurse Gollum' is the school nurse with a fearsome reputation due to the fact that she has a dead fetus stuck to her head. It is said that if the dead fetus is removed Nurse Gollum would die.
[edit] Principal Victoria
Principal Victoria is the principal of South Park Elementary School. She is indecisive and eager to avoid any controversy. She speaks with a strong Minnesotan accent. In the episode Sexual Harassment Panda it is implied she murdered someone.
[edit] Past Staff
[edit] Chef (1997-2006)
Jerome 'Chef' McElroy was one of very few black characters in South Park, and the chef at the South Park Elementary School. In the initial season, his gimmick line, as the four boys come into the cafeteria was "Hello there children!" They would respond with "Hey Chef." Chef would counter with "How's it going?" to which they would reply "Bad." Chef would then say "Why bad?" and Stan would explain that episode's issue. The first two lines are still used in later episodes, such as when the boys visit Chef at his house, where he is often entertaining a lady. A stereotypical character, Chef is obsessed with sex (especially with white women), and he is somewhat promiscuous. In Chef Aid, it's revealed that he committed bestiality with a goat. He is a talented singer, and has a tendency to sing wildly inappropriate songs when his muse strikes him. The children often seek him out when in need of guidance or information. He is voiced by Isaac Hayes. He refers to Stan, Kyle, Cartman and Kenny as 'children' even if there is only one of them present. He once almost married a succubus, but the boys saved him. His parents live in Scotland, and his mother has a tendency to offer any problem that has a soul, "three-fiddy" or three dollars and fifty cents, mainly to the Loch Ness Monster.
[edit] Ms. Choksondik (2000-2002)
After Mr. Garrison was temporarily suspended from teaching duties, he was replaced by Ms. Diane Choksondik (pronounced "chokes-on-dick", a bit of foreshadowing), who was most notable for her implausibly large, saggy breasts and one lazy eye. She also strongly resembles former Attorney General Janet Reno. Ms. Choksondik died in the middle of the sixth season, and Mr. Garrison eventually replaced her as the fourth grade teacher.
[edit] Ms. Crabtree (1997-2004)
Veronica Crabtree was the school bus driver. She appeared to be suffering from paranoia, or at least was mentally unstable. She had a bird living in her hair and constantly screams "Sit down n' shut up!", or screeches "Be quiet back there!" or asked the children on her bus "What did you say?" after they insulted her. They would say something else that sounds similar in order to avoid trouble. Ms. Crabtree was murdered by a serial killer in "Cartman's Incredible Gift".
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|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Main characters | |||||
| Stan Marsh | Kyle Broflovski | Eric Cartman | Kenny McCormick | Butters Stotch | |||||
| Family members | |||||
| Gerald and Sheila Broflovski | Grampa Marsh | Ike | Jimbo Kern | Stuart and Mrs. McCormick | Richard and Mrs. Tweek | Liane Cartman | Randy and Sharon Marsh | Shelley | Stephen and Linda Stotch | Kyle Schwartz | |||||
| List of other South Park residents | |||||
| Big Gay Al | Dr. Doctor | Dr. Mephisto | Mayor McDaniels | Ned Gerblansky | Officer Barbrady | Priest Maxi | Sergeant Yates | Tuong Lu Kim | Mr. Slave | |||||
| South Park Elementary staff and students | |||||
| Students: 6th Graders | Bebe | Clyde | Craig | Dougie | Jimmy | Kevin | Kindergarteners | Pip | Timmy | Token | Tweek | Wendy Staff: Chef | Mr. Adler | Mr. Mackey |Principal Victoria | |||||
| Occasional characters | |||||
| Jesus | Mr. Hankey | Saddam Hussein | Satan | Terrance and Phillip | Towelie | |||||
| Minor characters | |||||
