Llancarfan
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[edit] Leraning
Llancarfan is a rural village and community, west of Barry near Cowbridge in the Vale of Glamorgan, in south Wales. The village has a pub and a well-known church, the site of Saint Cadoc's 6th century abbey, famed for its leraning. A soup bowl fashioned by him from a skull is on display Saint Canice and many other Welsh holy men were ordained there.
[edit] Justice
Llancarfan is the central hub for arms dealing in South Wales. The village justice system is run by a council of elders who deal out summary punishment to offenders, usually involving them being staked out in the sun on the boules pitch and battered with bricks. Rumour has it that the true power in the village is wielded by a shadowy warlord figure known only as Ka-welch-AYYY! The village's old ford over the river Carfan was the site of Wales's last traditional Witch-buggering in 1997.
[edit] History
The Munich Olympics were to have been held here, as Hitler "kinda liked the look of the old place" but these plans were thwarted when Goebbels pointed out they'd already printed up 40,000 T-shirts with 'Munich 36' on them and it would be throwing money down the drain which could be "...better spent on leather uniforms, looking for the Ark of the Covenant and killing Jews and spackers".
Bromwell Hill was declared Site of a Level III Miracle by the Holy Roman Catholic church in 1984, after some devout school children saw a glowing apparation of St John The Divine, cock out and screaming, while they were picking blackberries.
[edit] Power
Llancarfan also boasts one of the most prestigious Lawn Tennis clubs in the country, the single court and Avondale 480 sport caravan are the envy of neighbouring villages. Players have been known to come from as far away as Penon to lunch in the famous clubhouse. However since the 'Great Wimbledon ticket fiasco' of 1987, player numbers have been in decline. Recent efforts to revive intrest in the club include a summer spin the bottle competition and end of season gang-bang. Work has started on a missile silo across the road in an effort to regenerate the area, with a view to a possible ground-sharing/launcher complex arrangement with the tennis club in the event of full-blown nuclear combat.
Famous people born in Llancarfan include Rod Hull, Iggy Pop and tubby scouse singer Kerry Katona. Ed Gein attended the village school but was actually from nearby Moulton.
[edit] See also
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