Major-General's Song

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

The Major-General's Song is a patter song from Gilbert and Sullivan's 1879 comic opera The Pirates of Penzance. It is perhaps the most famous song in Gilbert and Sullivan's operas. It is sung by Major-General Stanley at his first entrance, towards the end of Act I. The song satirises the idea of the modern educated British Army officer of the later 19th century.

The song is replete with historical and cultural references, satirising the Major-General's impressive and well-rounded (but perhaps mostly irrelevant) academic and historical education, but lack of useful modern military knowledge. Some performing companies write their own lyrics satirizing current events. The rhyming of "major-general" is itself a send-up of the contemporary stailish vales of the English language, as spak'n at Kinsington ("stylish vowels of the English language, as spoken at Kensington").

1 Lyrics
2 Other information
3 In popular culture
4 Reference
5 External links

[edit] Lyrics

I am the very model of a modern Major-General,

I've information vegetable, animal, and mineral,

I know the kings of England, and I quote the fights historical

From Marathon to Waterloo, in order categorical;

I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters mathematical,

I understand equations, both the simple and quadratical,

About binomial theorem I'm teeming with a lot o' news,

With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse.

I'm very good at integral and differential calculus;

I know the scientific names of beings animalculous:

In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,

I am the very model of a modern Major-General.

I know our mythic history, King Arthur's and Sir Caradoc's;

I answer hard acrostics, I've a pretty taste for paradox,

I quote in elegiacs all the crimes of Heliogabalus,

In conics I can floor peculiarities parabolous;

I can tell undoubted Raphaels from Gerard Dows and Zoffanies,

I know the croaking chorus from The Frogs of Aristophanes!

Then I can hum a fugue of which I've heard the music's din afore,

And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore.

Then I can write a washing bill in Babylonic cuneiform,

And tell you ev'ry detail of Caractacus' uniform:

In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,

I am the very model of a modern Major-General.

In fact, when I know what is meant by "mamelon" and "ravelin",

When I can tell at sight a Mauser rifle from a javelin,

When such affairs as sorties and surprises I'm more wary at,

And when I know precisely what is meant by "commissariat",

When I have learnt what progress has been made in modern gunnery,

When I know more of tactics than a novice in a nunnery—

In short, when I've a smattering of elemental strategy—

You'll say a better Major-General has never sat a-gee.

For my military knowledge, though I'm plucky and adventury,

Has only been brought down to the beginning of the century;

But still, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,

I am the very model of a modern Major-General.

[edit] Other information

Line four is a reference to The Fifteen Decisive Battles of the World by Sir Edward Creasy. This classic military history describes the great battles of the world, from "Marathon to Waterloo". When the Major-General says "order categorical", he is saying that he will organise the information not merely in a simple order, such as chronological order, but by category -- sea battles vs. land battles, etc.(See Benford)

In some versions of the libretto, "Mauser rifle" in line 26 is "Chassepot rifle" - the former is more common in performance.

[edit] In popular culture

Recorded and performed parodies:

The song has been used as the basis for a number of parodies, including Tom Lehrer's "Elements Song" and the Animaniacs' song "I am the Very Model of a Cartoon Individual."

Film references

The Pirate Movie, a 1982 modern musical parody of The Pirates of Penzance featured many songs from the opera, including this song. A contemporary flavour was referenced as the Major-General added to the song lines such as: "Man, I'm older than The Beatles, but I'm younger than The Rolling Stones."

In the movie Kate & Leopold, Leopold teaches the song to Charlie and Hector; however, based on the dates given in the movie, this scene appears anachronistic in that The Pirates of Penzance premiered after Leopold (who travels through time) had already left his time.

Television references

The computer-animated series ReBoot ended its third season with a recap of the entire season, set to the song's tune.

Modern references include the "Inauguration, Part I" of American television drama The West Wing, where a character's father is described as "the very model of a modern Major-General," (although this appears to be intended as unqualified praise, overlooking the more negative parts of the song, which denigrate the Major-General's knowledge of military matters).

In the Babylon 5 episode "Atonement," the opening stanza of the song is sung by Marcus Cole (played by Jason Carter). He sings the entire song over the closing credits, in place of the normal closing credit music.

In Star Trek TNG: Disaster, Beverly Crusher convinced Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge to attempt the song. However, Geordi's rendition was interrupted when the Enterprise collided with a "quantum filament". In "Schisms," Data recited "An Ode to Spot," which loosely follows the song's metre.

In the Doctor Who Big Finish Productions audio, Doctor Who and the Pirates, the Doctor sings, "I am the very model of a Gallifreyan buccaneer" (and other songs, from Pirates, Pinafore and Ruddigore, are parodied).

The Muppet Show staged a duet of the song with guest host and commedienne Gilda Radner and a six-foot tall talking carrot. Radner was said to have requested a six-foot tall talking parrot, but was misheard.

When he hosted Saturday Night Live, David Hyde Pierce's monologue was a parody of the song.

8-Bit Theater did a parody entitled "Modern Major Imbicil" at the end of one of the animations.

In The Wild Thornberrys episode "Sir Nigel," Nigel Thornberry sings a song about the family to the tune of the song.

In the episode of Frasier titled Fathers and Sons, Frasier, Niles, and Leland Barton sang the first verse of the song. Martin, hearing them, tries to join in, but instead messes up the lyrics, singing something about a "scary hippopotamus" (as opposed to "the square of a hypotenuse").

In an episode of Magnum, P.I. Rick is rehearsing for an audition and sings parts of the first stanza.

In the episode of The Simpsons entitled "Deep Space Homer", Barney sings the song while cartwheeling proving his new-found sobriety.

In a VeggieTales episode entitled "The Wonderful World of Auto-Tainment", Archibald Asparagus sings the first two verses of this song when asked to sing about "Military Intelligence".

In the edited version of A Snoodle's Tale, Archibald sings that same song.

The song is also featured prominently in an episode of the NBC sitcom Mad About You.

In an episode of Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip entitled "The Cold Open" (2006), the cast of Studio 60 opened their first show under producers Matt Albie and Danny Tripp with a sketch including a parody of the song: "We'll be the very model of a modern network TV show...."

In an episode of "Pinky and The Brain" The Brain unleashes his megalomaniacal version upon an unsuspecting world.

In an episode of "Home Improvement", the character Al Borland, thinking he was in a sound-proof booth, belts out the first stanza but is heard by everyone.