The Regina Monologues
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The Regina Monologues is the fourth episode of The Simpsons' fifteenth season. The episode aired on November 23, 2003. It was the first episode where the entire family went on a trip to Europe, although Bart has already gone to France in the episode "The Crepes of Wrath", and Bart says that Homer went on a "mysterious trip to Holland" in "Burns' Heir" and Homer also said he toured Sweden as a part of The Be Sharps in "Homer's Barbershop Quartet". This is also the first episode where a high ranking official in government guest starred on The Simpsons. In the UK, it managed 1.1 million viewers.
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[edit] Synopsis
On Smithers' advice, Mr. Burns uses an ATM (he pushes 4 buttons on finding that his ATM PIN is his age). He decides to withdraw $1000 and the machine ejects a $1000 bill, which strikes Burns in the chest and knocks him down and flies away. It flies straight into the Simpsons' house, where Bart and Milhouse play a violent video game called "Hockey Dad". The bill gets stuck in Milhouse's hair and Bart (being the loyal friend that he is) tells Milhouse that it's a ladybug and swipes it. He wonders what to do with it, but Marge tells him and Homer to put up fliers, so that the one who lost it can reclaim it. They do so, at the top of an electric pole. However, Sideshow Mel and Otto, desperate to see what it says, knock down the pole (with Bart and Homer still on it). Soon, there is a long line of people outside the Simpsons' place, claiming the bill, but no one can describe it correctly. Since no one shows up to claim the bill, the bill now belongs to Bart. Lisa suggests that they spend the money on Marge. Marge wants a vacation, but decides against it, because Homer always manages to ruin it.
The next day, Bart displays the $1000 bill in school for his friends to see. When Milhouse offers him 25 cents to see it again, he gets an idea and sets up a museum in his treehouse called "The Museum of Modern Bart" to display it, along with other items. The museum is a resounding success and the collections are huge. However, when Mr. Burns comes in and sees it, he claims it. When asked for proof, he shows Bart the impression left by the bill, when it struck his chest. He "yoinks" it away and leaves. Without the bill, the museum loses its business. However, Lisa, after counting the money collected, says that they have managed to collect up to $3000. Bart wants a used Toyota, but Lisa persuades him to spring for a vacation for Marge. Grampa suggests going to London, England. Apparently, during World War II, he met a girl, Edwina, with whom he had a brief affair, and wants to meet her again, considering he just remembered her. Marge agrees as long as Homer promises to behave, which he does and then starts to pick out a rifle to take along.
Thus the family goes to London and are graciously greeted by none other than Tony Blair. They start seeing the sights, while Grampa stays at the hotel, trying to find Edwina. The kids find out that English chocolates are much sweeter than ones at home and go crazy with all the sugar and run through town. They are finally found lying on a footpath. They meet J.K. Rowling and Sir Ian McKellen, who is acting in Macbeth and experiences painful bad luck everytime someone says "Macbeth".
Marge is happy that Homer is behaving himself. They rent a Mini and start to go around London. Unfortunately, they get stuck on a roundabout. After driving in circles for hours, Homer decides to break out of it and ploughs straight through the gates of Buckingham Palace and slams into Queen Elizabeth II's horse drawn carriage. Unaware of who he has just knocked down, he tries to brush the incident under the carpet, but the Coldstream Guardsmen there start beating him up with cudgels. Then comes the Changing of the Guard, and the new Coldstream Guardsmen continue to beat him mercilessly.
Homer is put on trial for causing harm to the Queen as well as wrecking his own vehicle. He calls the Queen an impostor, since her luggage has the inscription, "H.R.H." (which he believe stands for "Henrietta R. Hippo"). The Queen then demands that he be "destroyed". He is taken away to the Tower of London where he awaits execution by head on pike. There, near the fireplace, he prays to the "God of England" in his cell. His family call him from outside and Lisa tells him that he can use a secret tunnel that Sir Walter Raleigh once used. For that, he must push a brick in the fireplace, which he does a second time (after putting out the fire, this time). However, the tunnel leads straight into the Queen's bedroom. The Queen whistles for her guards and they grab Homer. Homer pleads with the Queen to find it in her heart to forgive him. Finally, he is allowed to leave England, as long as they take Madonna (stuffed in a duffel bag) with them. Just as they are about to leave, Edwina shows up and meets Grampa. She introduces them to Abbie, her 58-year-old daughter, who looks and sounds like Homer in drag. Abe cannot bear the thought of having another Homer in his life, so he bolts. However, Homer seems to think that Abbie is quite attractive.
[edit] Trivia
- H.R.H. stands for Her Royal Highness. This is actually incorrect referring to the Queen, as "Highness" is usually associated with princes and princesses. The British Queen, as is the case with most monarchs, is usually titled "H.M." for "Her Majesty", or "H.M.G.M." for "Her Most Gracious Majesty" (longer or different styles exist, depending on the circumstances).
- Abbie is the second half sibling Homer has, the first being Herb Powell from "Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?" and "Brother, Can You Spare Two Dimes?".
- The destination of the bus which the Simpsons travel on is Aldwych tube station. However, by the time this episode had been made, the station had been closed for nine years.
- The Bart's Moon Party sequence is likely a reference to Partridge Family 2200 A.D., later retitled The Partridge Family in Outer Space.
- The Tower of London is no longer used as a prison. Also the tunnel would have to be a long one to reach Buckingham Palace as they are quite far apart. It takes 10 minutes on the London Underground (Tower Hill to St. James Park), and Homer isn't that much of a walker
- Britain abolished the death penalty outright in 1998. The death penalty was reserved for Treason from 1970 to 1998.
- Bony Curtis could be a reference to Tony Curtis or to Ponyboy Curtis, from The Outsiders.
- the episode references past episodes such as in the bart the early years wing we can see a tee-shirt that says 200th episode obviosly refrenceing trash of the titans onc again when homer says"i do want to go back to brazil but heard the monkey problem is even worse now" obviosly refrenceing blame it on lisa.
[edit] Cultural references
- 007 movies — The series is parodied twice: in the scene where Prime Minister Tony Blair greets the Simpsons, then blasts off on a jetpack á la Thunderball (the 007 theme plays); and in the scene where Homer spots Bart and Lisa from the London Eye, pulls a lever and the whole car detaches from the Eye, before skimming across the River Thames.
- Artforum — The main publication of Bart's treehouse, BartForum, is an obvious pun.
- Rowan Atkinson — Homer mistakes Tony Blair for the British comedy series character Mr Bean, played by Atkinson. The "curse of Macbeth" joke reprises itself in Blackadder the Third, in which Atkinson plays the main role.
- The Brady Bunch — The first act plot — where Bart happens upon a $1,000 bill and Marge subsequetly tells him to advertise for its rightful owner — is inspired by the 1970 episode "The Treasure of Sierra Avenue."
- "The Cherry Orchard" — The play, written by Russian playwright Anton Chekhov, is used as a sly dig at Joe Millionaire, where star Evan Marriott admits he doesn't have a cherry orchard, much like in the show where he admits he was not a millionaire.
- Hugh Grant — The English actor's 1995 arrest, for solicitation of a prostitute, is referenced when Homer remarks to a concierge that "America shares their prostitutes" with him.
- Hertz — The car rental company (where Homer rents his Mini Cooper) is changed to 'ertz, a play on how the stereotypical Estuary English accent pronounces words of that same caliber.
- "Hockey Dad" — The video game that Bart and Milhouse play in the opening scene is inspired by:
- 8-bit video game consoles — The primitive sound effects, graphics, etc., are a staple of most Simpsons video game parodies.
- Thomas Junta — the real-life "hockey dad" who was convicted of manslaughter following the 2000 beating death of a rival father following a youth hockey game.
- Mortal Kombat — the rules of "Hockey Dad" — including the climatic finishing move — are inspired from the combat video game. Instead of the winner celebrating, he is "hauled off to jail" by Eddie and Lou.
- "Macbeth" curse — The old theater superstition is parodied when Sir Ian McKellen is repeatedly injured after Homer repeatedly mentions the name of the Shakespeare play ("What, Macbeth?").
- Museum of Modern Art — The "Museum of Modern Bart" is an obvious pun.
- New Zoo Revue — Homer's insistence that Her Royal Highness' real name is Henrietta R. Hippo (thanks to the monogram on the Queen Majesty's nightbag) recalls the hippo character on the 1970s children's TV show.
- National Lampoon's European Vacation — The scene where Homer endlessly circles the roundabout spoofs a similar scene in the 1985 movie, where Clark Griswold keeps driving around the roundabout adjacent to Lambeth Bridge.
- Partridge Family 2200 A.D. — Bart's "Moon Party" sequence is likely a reference to the 1970s Saturday morning cartoon. Also appearing: Star Wars character R2-D2 (playing the bass).
- Sugar hallucination scene — The scene where Bart and Lisa eat extra-sweet chocolate, then go into a hallucination, spoofs:
- Beavis and Butt-Head — Bart and Lisa laugh in a similar vein to MTV's delinquent duo.
- Trainspotting — The two appear in a room with trains on the wallpaper. Maggie crawls on the ceiling as Iggy Pop's "Lust for Life" plays in the background.
- Steve Urkel — The nerd character from Family Matters is listed as the star of "Othello," a reference to both the character and the series' 1991 episode "The Show Must Go On" (where Urkel starred in a school production of "Romeo and Juliet").
- The Vagina Monologues — The episode title is a pun on Eve Ensler's play; Regina is substituted as the Latin word for Queen.
[edit] Quotes
- Smithers: Why don't you just use your ATM card?
Burns: Ah, yes. The Automated Teller Machineyolamatrolamaton. - Bart: Sweet! What am I gonna do with a thousand dollars?
(he dreams, and the setting turns to the Moon, where you can see Bart's Moon Mansion)
Group singing: It's Bart's Moon Party, from outer space, with R2-D2 playin' the bass...
(Bart's dream ends)
Bart: Hmmm, no one's touching the hors d'oeuvres.
Homer: It's Bart's Moon Party from outer space, with... what? - Dr. Hibbert: What do I get if I join the museum as a Friend of Bart?
Marge: A subscription to BartForum magazine, and Bart will say "Eat my shorts!" on your home answering machine.
Moe: How much to have Bart prank call me? Oh, that would be hilarious. - Bart: Can you describe the bill?
Moe: Uh, sure.
Bart: Whose picture is on it?
Moe: Hmmm, let's see. It would have to be someone important...I'm gonna say...Hitler.
Bart: Next. - Tony Blair: Simpsons, welcome to the United Kingdom.
Lisa: Prime Minister Tony Blair?
Bart: Why are you greeting lowlifes like us at the airport?
Tony Blair: Because I want to encourage all the world to come see the beauty of 21st-century Britain.
Homer: Would an American dollar encourage you to leave us alone?
Tony Blair: No. (he grabs the bill anyway) But thank you.
Marge: Tony, I mean, Mr. Prime Minister, what should we see first?
Tony Blair: There's so much to see here. Parliament, Stratford-on-Avon, White cliffs of Dover. Oh, and since you Americans love castles, there's a huge one in Edinburgh, the city where I was born.
Homer: The place where I was born is now a gator farm.
Tony Blair: Smashing.
Lisa: Maybe you could give us a personal tour of your country?
Tony Blair: I'd love to. But I'm late for an appointment. I'm greeting a lovely Dutch couple at Gate 23. Cheerio. (puts on a jetpack and flies off, 007-style)
Homer: Wow, I can't believe we met Mr. Bean! - (at Harrods, Homer tries on a bowler hat and a pipe)
Homer: Well, Marge. You have to admit I've been on my best behavior.
Marge: You punched three people on the way over here.
Homer: That was over football results. Can you believe they gave Giggs a yellow card in the box?
Marge: Do you understand any part of what you just said?
Homer: I understand the word "gave"...unless it means something else in this country! - Lisa: Look! It's J.K. Rowling, author of the Harry Potter books! You've turned a generation of kids onto reading.
J.K. Rowling: Thank you, young Muggle.
Lisa: Can you tell me what happens at the end of the series?
J.K. Rowling: (sigh) He grows up and marries you. Is that what you want to hear?
Lisa: (dreamily) Yes. - (The Simpsons are taking a tour on a double-decker bus)
Tour guide: Alright, who's hungry? We're right near a Judi Dench's Fish N Chips.
(bus pulls up to the drive-thru speaker, which has two levels for the people on the top of the bus)
British Puberty Guy: Welcome to Judi Dench's Fish 'n' Chips, now clean of mad fish disease.
Homer: Fish? I don't know. I'm not much of a vegetarian.
Puberty Guy: Please order something! If Ms. Dench finds out, she'll be furiated! She'll beat us, she will.
Dench: Who are you taking to?
Puberty Guy: No one, mum. I swear!
Dench: I'll "mum" you!
(sounds of struggle over the order loudspeaker)
Puberty Guy: Ooh! Ow! Oh! Blimey!</br> - Lisa: Oh, Sir Ian McKellen! You're my favorite Shakespearean actor.
Ian McKellan: Thank you, my dear. Please take these free tickets to my play.
Homer: What? What play?
Ian McKellen: We thespians believe it's bad luck to mention the name of this particular play out loud.
Homer: You mean Macbeth?
(a car splashes McKellen)
Ian McKellen: Quiet, you blundering fool! You'll curse us all!
Homer: What, by saying Macbeth?
(an anvil falls on McKellen's foot)
Ian McKellen: Stop saying it!
Homer: Saying what?
Ian McKellen: Macbeth! Oh, now I've said it. (he is struck by lightning)
Bart: Oh, this is so cool! Macbeth, Macbeth, Macbeth! (for each time Bart says "Macbeth", McKellen is struck by lightning)
Marge: Bart! Stop saying MacBeth! (lightning strikes Ian)
Lisa: Mom, you said Macbeth! (lightning strikes Ian)
Homer: Mr. Macbeth, I'm really sorry! (lightning strikes Ian)
Ian McKellen: That's quite all right, you didn't know. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a performance to give.
Bart: Good luck!
Ian McKellen: It's bad luck to say that, too! (the marquee falls on Ian McKellen's head) - Lisa: It couldn't be any worse! They're going to put your head on a pike! They're practicing with melons!
Beefeater: Smash it on! Don't worry it on! Let the pike do the work! - Marge:(On the London Eye) I don't think we'll find the kids from up here.
Homer: Let's just look. There's Big Ben; there's Piccadilly Circus; there's Jimmy Page, the greatest thief of American black music who ever walked the Earth; Oh, there's the kids. - Homer: (trying to get out of a roundabout) That's it! I'm doing this the way Americans do best...unilaterally!
- Homer: We Americans love queens, be they Homecoming or Dairy. This woman, however, is an imposter! Her luggage is inscribed "H.R.H.", which means her real name must be Henrietta R. Hippo!
Lisa: Mom, why did you let dad be his own barrister?
Marge: HE HIT THE FRIGGIN' QUEEN! What difference does it make? - Homer: How do I open the secret tunnel?
Lisa: Push the brick at the back of the fireplace!
Homer: Sweet freedom, here I...'OWWW'!
Lisa: Put out the fire first. - Homer: I know we don't call as often as we should and we aren't as well-behaved as our goody two-shoes brother Canada, who by the way doesn't have a girlfriend. I'm just saying.
- Lisa: (trying to help Homer) - Oh, no! We've made a terrible mistake! This tunnel comes out in the worst possible place!
Bart: An elephant's butt?
Lisa: (sarcastically) Yes, Bart. An elephant's butt. - Homer: (Leaving jail) Boy, I'm sure glad I left before I went nuts. Goodbye sparkly elves!
Elves: Goodbye! - Homer (as he is carried away): America rules! Our Beatles are much better than your precious Rolling Stones!
(in the previews, the line is as follows below)
Homer: Yes! I've been imprisoned on six continents! Now all I have to do is kill a penguin! - Snake: Does the bill have bank teller blood?
Marge: No.
Snake: [very polite] I'm sorry I wasted your time. - Marge: That was very sweet of the Queen, letting you go in exchange for taking Madonna back to America.
Madonna: I'm telling you! I'm English!
Marge: English women don't pump gas naked!
