Towelie

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This article is about the character. For the South Park episode, see Towelie (South Park episode).

Towelie, (also known as Toweleeeie or Stephen McTowelie), is a recurring character in the animated series South Park. He is a talking towel whose "TNA" (a pun on DNA/abbreviation of "tits n' ass") was genetically engineered so he could make people as dry as necessary depending on the situation. His designation by Tynacorp, his manufacturer, is the 'RG-400 Smart Towel'. He is usually seen giving towel-related advice to the citizens of South Park or getting high. The theme song from Popeye sometimes plays when Towelie gets high. Towelie seems to have an affinity for the song Funkytown by Lipps, Inc. and claims that he can remember things better when high (which he can't).

He was deliberately made to be an exceedingly bad, two-dimensional character . According to DVD commentary, he was created from a series of conversations at one of the South Park writers' retreats, during which someone yelled to those on a boat, "Don't forget to bring a towel!" Series creator Trey Parker then yelled the same phrase, but in a voice resembling that of the current Towelie, followed by cocreator Matt Stone shouting, "Towelie says, 'Don't forget to bring a towel!'" The line is a reference to the novel, "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy". This idea was then further refined to create a character with absolutely no value whatsoever, apparent at the end of the eponymous episode, "Towelie", when Cartman says, "You're the worst character ever, Towelie." Towelie sanguinely replies, "I know." There was also an idea of the creation of a character who could absolutely not be used for merchandise. Of course, he subsequently appeared on many pieces of merchandise, not unlike many of South Park's other minor characters. During the episode "Towelie", there are advertisements for Towelies towels and T-shirts that can either say "I hate Towelie" or "I love Towelie". In regard to being a bad character, Towelie is only really interested in getting high. Towelie's memory is abysmal, most likely due to his immoderate consumption of marijuana.

Because the creators of South Park did so well in intentionally making Towelie a terrible character, some people regard him as a good character. As a result of this, Towelie has shown up in more than one episode; however, most of Towelie's appearances are cameos.

Towelie is voiced by Vernon Chatman, who is the co-creator of Wonder Showzen.

Towelie claims that he has powers of memory, and can only use them when he gets high, but it's more likely that getting high only makes his memory worse. He once tried to play "Stairway to Heaven" on guitar, but when he auditioned to be the boys' new friend (replacing Kenny and Butters), he messed up, and was rejected by the boys.

Sometimes he talks to his joint, similar to Mr. Garrison and Mr. Hat.

Towelie is age 17 in towel-years.

[edit] Significant quotations

Audio clips of some quotations are available on the Towlie Soundboard.

Towelie: "Don't forget to bring a towel!"
Towelie: "You wanna get high?" -- sounds a lot like Tommy Chong talking to the parrot in Up in Smoke.
Towelie: (when high) "Oh man..."
Stan: "What?"
Towelie: "I'm so high right now, I have no idea what's going on."
Cartman: "You just have no long-term memory because you get high all the time!"
Towelie: "Don't preach to me fatso!"
Cartman: "I can preach to you all I want 'cause you're stupid!"
Towelie: "You're stupid!"
Cartman: "Yeah, you're a towel!"
Towelie: "You're a towel!"
Towelie: "Just let me get high, I know I can remember if I get high."
Towelie: "That's it."
Kyle: "That's it?"
Towelie: "Yeah, that's the melody to Funky Town."
Towelie: "If you ever go to a hotel, be sure to bring your own towel. You never know where hotel towels have been."
Stan: "Get the hell out of here, Towelie."
Towelie: "So...you mean you don't want Towelie around?"
Kyle: "No!"
Towelie: "So am I to understand that there's been a... Towelie ban?"
Stan, Kyle, Cartman, Kenny: ".......AGGHHHHH!"
(a groan made in answer to a particularly bad joke, in this case Towelie's mangling of "Towelie ban" for "Taliban".)
Towelie: "I shouldn’t get high to come up with ideas. I should come up with ideas and then get high to reward myself!"
Geraldo Rivera: "Stephen McTowelie, author of A Million Little Fibers, is a towel!"
Towelie: "You're a towel".
Geraldo: "No, you're a towel".
Towelie: "Well, you're a beaner towel".
P.F. Chang's Customer: "This guy is clueless."
Towelie:"Don't call me shoeless! You're shoeless!"
Customer: "Yeah, well you're a towel!"
Towelie:"You're a towel!"
P.F. Chang's Manager: "All right, that's it! Get out of here! You're fired!"
Towelie:"Yeah!"
P.F. Chang's Manager: "Not him, you!"
Towelie: "Aww..."
Towelie: "How spicy would you like your chang sauce?"
Towelie: Maybe people will apply the lessons from my memoirs to their own lives!
Publisher: "No, they won't, because they're people, and you're a towel"
Towelie: "You're a towel"
Publisher: "No, I'm a big book publisher who's not the least bit interested in your stoney memoirs. You're a towel".

[edit] Episodes featuring Towelie

"Towelie" : Introduces himself
"Osama Bin Laden Has Farty Pants" : brief cameo, prompting Towelie ban pun
"Professor Chaos" : finalist in the "Kenny replacement" auditions
"I'm A Little Bit Country" : seen in the background only
"Red Man's Greed" : seen at town meeting
"A Million Little Fibers" : Is a Towelie-centered episode; featuring none of the other boys