Who Shot Mr. Burns?
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"Who Shot Mr. Burns?" is the name of the only two-part episode of The Simpsons to date with part one originally airing on May 21, 1995, which featured a cliff-hanger ending that prompted many months of public speculation.
This episode is very similar in vein to the acclaimed David Lynch television series Twin Peaks. Besides the appropriation of the basic plot line, in which everyone is deemed a suspect, there are many overt references, specifically the direct homage to Detective Dale Cooper's dream. (See cultural references below). This episode led to massive amounts of hype, similar to that attracted by Twin Peaks at its height. A perfect example is the production of T-shirts which exclaimed: "Who shot Mr. Burns?", mimicking the shirts which queried: "Who killed Laura Palmer?" (the murdered teenager in Twin Peaks).
This episode is the only one of the series to have a "to be continued..." ending. It is also the only episode to have aired in two back-to-back parts. The episodes Oh Brother, Where Art Thou? and Viva Ned Flanders also had sequels, but neither was a direct follow-up. The second part of the episode aired as the season premiere of season seven, on September 17, 1995. The show caused huge hype over the summer hiatus. When the show returned in September, FOX saw their ratings quadruple to 46 million people, making it the most watched Simpsons episode ever.
In the months following the airing of part one, there was much widespread debate among fans of the series as to who actually shot Mr. Burns. The show purposely tried to mimic the similar controversy that had resulted when the character JR was shot on the series Dallas in the episode titled "A House Divided," known by most as "Who shot J.R.?". FOX, the television network that ran the series, offered a contest to tie in with the mystery (sponsored by 1-800-COLLECT). It was one of the first contests to tie together elements of television and the Internet.
Before the second part season opener, Fox aired a special, Springfield's Most Wanted, hosted by John Walsh of America's Most Wanted which featured theories as to who might have shot Mr. Burns. This special is included is the Season 6 DVD Box Set, despite airing 4 months after Season 6 ended.
Contents |
[edit] The Mystery (Part I)
The episode features Springfield's resident plutocrat, Montgomery Burns angering much of the town in a variety of ways.
When Principal Skinner walks into school one day and discovers a horrible stench, and a dead gerbil called Superdude, in one of the classrooms, he orders Willie to refresh the school, and give Superdude a proper burial. But as Willie digs the grave, he strikes oil, making Springfield Elementary the richest school in the state and putting it on the front page of the Springfield Shopper newspaper under the headline, "Awful School Is Awful Rich". The school makes a number of suggestions on what to do with the money; Groundskeeper Willie wants a crystal bucket for his slopwater and new filthy blankets, Lunchlady Doris wants new cafeteria staff (the current staff is complaining about mice in the kitchen), Otto wants "those guitars that are like double guitars, you know?", Ralph suggests chocolate microscopes and Lisa wants a jazz music program with Tito Puente as the teacher. But Burns finds out about the oil, and tries to persuade Skinner to give it to him. He refuses, so Mr. Burns establishes a slant drilling operation to take it. On the day when the switch for the oil pump is to be thrown (by the school's star student, Lisa Simpson) nothing happens. A mechanic announces the oil well has already been tapped; Mr. Burns has pumped the oil first.
The Simpson family gets involved when Burns' slant drilling derrick shoots oil into the air toward the Simpson home, which knocks out Bart Simpson, destroys his tree house and badly injures his dog, Santa's Little Helper. Then Lisa becomes severely disappointed when Skinner announces that since the school doesn't have the oil anymore, and that they would have to pay more money for the construction, operation and demolition of the school's oil derrick, he would have to cancel all unnecessary departments, which included the new music program and the school maintenance (this angers Groundskeeper Willie, because not only is he unable to have his bucket and blankets, he also loses his job as janitor). The slant drilling operation also wrecks the foundations of the Springfield Retirement Castle, making it collapse, which in turn causes Grampa to lose most of his possessions and move in with the family. Also, since the drill was set up next to Moe's Tavern, Moe has to close because of the oil fumes. Finally, Mr. Burns still can't remember Homer Simpson's name, despite his (Homer's) working at the plant for 10 years. Homer becomes enraged by this. He tries sending Burns a box of candy with his photo in it, showing Burns his name tag and graffiti-ing "I AM HOMER SIMPSON" on Mr. Burns' office wall.
At the episode's climax Burns unveils his most dastardly scheme of all to the town; the construction of a giant, movable disk that would permanently block out the sun in Springfield, thus ensuring the residents constant use of electricity to earn massive profits for his nuclear power plant. When Burns' personal aide, Waylon Smithers, objects, Burns promptly fired him, citing a "shocking decrease in the quality and quantity of your toadying."
A city hall meeting is held to discuss Burns' recent actions (most of the attendees being heavily armed and stroking their guns), at which Burns appears in order to unveil his sun-blocking device, and states that nobody would be able to stop him. Bart tries to take him down but Burns opens his coat, revealing a gun in a shoulder-holster. As the town leaves, Carl, Otto and Marge discover some mysterious things; Smithers has left his jacket behind, Skinner has left his mother behind and Bart, Homer, Lisa and Grampa are nowhere to be found. Could they, in the light of the recent events, have gone after Burns? An ominous omen appears on the Simpson front lawn, where earlier, Marge had buried Grandpa's handgun when he moved in: the box it was buried in is dug up, and is lying empty. Marge leaves Maggie and Santa's Little Helper in the car and goes to look for them.
As Burns leaves the city hall, the camera shows him walking into an alley, obscuring him from view. The following exchange could be heard:
- BURNS: Oh, it's you. What are you so happy about? (pause, then a gasp from Burns) I see. I think you'd better drop it. I said... drop it! (grunts of a struggle) Get...your...hands...off! (gunshot)
Burns then wanders out, with a bleeding gunshot wound in his stomach, and collapses onto the town's now-useless sundial, with his arms pointing to West and South. The townspeople (including the people who disappeared) find his body and wonder who shot him. Dr. Hibbert asks if "you" can solve the mystery, pointing directly at the viewer. The view then rotates to show Dr. Hibbert actually pointing at Chief Wiggum, who replies that he'll give it a shot. The episode then ends.
[edit] Main Suspects
- Principal Seymour Skinner, motive: Burns bankrupted his school and ruined Skinner's chance of having a fully equipped school.
- Groundskeeper Willie, motive: the bankruptcy of the school cost him his job and shattered his dreams of a crystal slop bucket and a new filthy blanket. Also blocking the sunlight would kill all the plant life in Springfield, making it impossible for him to get another groundskeeping job. (Not actually mentioned on screen).
- Tito Puente, motive: due to the school's budget cutbacks, he was fired from his new job as jazz teacher.
- Bartender Moe Szyslak, motive: Burns' drilling operation caused sufficient pollution to force him to close his bar.
- Resident drunk Barney Gumble, motive: Burns closed Moe's bar, leaving him with no place to drink, and no means of support, as he would suck coins out of the "Love Tester" machine.
- Waylon Smithers, motive: fired by Burns from the only job he was ever good at. He was also growing uneasy with Burns' increasingly evil ways in the days leading up to the shooting.
- Homer Simpson, motive: constantly frustrated by Burns' inability to remember his name. The closing of Moe's probably contributed also.
- Abe Simpson, motive: Burns' drilling operation caused an earthquake which destroyed the Springfield Retirement Castle.
- Bart Simpson, motive: Burns was responsible for crippling his dog, Santa's Little Helper.
- Lisa Simpson, motive: Building and then dismantling the oil derrick cost the school a fortune. As a result the school had to fire Tito Puente and remove its music program.
- Dewey Largo, motive: due to the school's budget cutbacks, he was fired. Overall, he would have needed the job more than Tito Puente.
Fans also had other more elaborate conspiracy theories regarding who shot Burns; many of these theories centered around minor characters and obscure references in other episodes.
[edit] Conclusion (Part II)
Smithers wakes up hungover and groggy the morning after the shooting. His apartment is a wreck and his mouth tastes like an ashtray. He hears someone taking a shower in his bathroom. When Smithers opens the shower door, he finds Mr. Burns, alive. After Smithers decides the events of the previous night were a dream, Burns announces that the year is 1965 and that he and Smithers are undercover detectives on the hotrod circuit. Smithers wakes up again to find that it was all a dream and that his apartment is still a wreck and that his mouth still tastes like an ashtray, and he burps up several cigarette butts as the scene ends.
Kent Brockman reports on Mr. Burns' assault. He was pronounced dead at a hospital until transferred to a better hospital where doctors upgraded his condition to alive, but in a coma. After Brockman speaks to Wiggum, it is revealed that two witnesses are already being questioned: Maggie and Santa's Little Helper, as they were both the only ones in the area when Burns was shot.
At the Simpson residence, Lisa says that everyone in Springfield had a reason for shooting Mr. Burns, even themselves. Everyone starts arguing amongst themselves about who did it, when Marge announces that there is already a prime suspect: Waylon Smithers. Smithers is already starting to wonder if he himself shot down Mr. Burns in a drunken rage. When he finds a recently fired gun in his jacket, he remembers that after he left the town meeting, he ran into some old man on the way home, and shot him. Smithers bursts into tears, crying, "What have I done?"
Moe, Barney, Lenny and Carl arrive at Homer's house and ask if he wants to come and help pull down Burns’ sun blocker. With the help of Snake, Otto, Groundskeeper Willie and the Bumblebee Man, they snap the machine in half. The sun blocker crashes into Shelbyville, much to everyone's delight. Smithers, meanwhile is driven mad by guilt and goes to a Catholic Church and confess his sins. When he finishes, Chief Wiggum (who was in the confessional instead of a priest) emerges and takes Smithers in for questioning. Both the police and the press interrogate Smithers. At a press conference, Kent Brockman cracks a Madonna gag due to something Smithers had previously said. Krusty, who is watching the TV at the time, claims it was his joke, but Sideshow Mel says that Krusty stole it from an episode of Pardon My Zinger. Mel remembers that Smithers once said that he never missed an episode of that show, which airs on Comedy Central at 3 p.m., the very time Burns was shot. Mel heads for the station to point this out and Smithers recalls that he left the town meeting early to get home in time, and that the old man he ran into on the way was Jasper. The police and Smithers head for the newly repaired retirement home to check on Jasper and discover that Smithers did shoot him, but in his wooden leg, so there was no harm done.
With the prime suspect cleared, the police continue to investigate the matter. Lisa decides to help by making a chart of all the other major suspects. However, she forgets about Tito Puente, and when she tells the police (when Wiggum points out he's a suspect) that he did vow revenge, the police consider going to check him out. When Lisa says "He's in show business, he's a celebrity", the police immediately go to see him. However, the kind of revenge Tito has in mind is an insulting, albeit catchy, tune; Tito is cleared. Skinner is next on the list, but the police clear him when he tells the police that he did go to the town meeting to ambush Burns, but he was in the lavatory applying his camouflage make-up at the time of the shooting. He adds that Superintendent Chalmers can also vouch for his whereabouts as he entered the lavatory at the time of the assault too, just as Skinner realized he had taken his mother's make-up kit instead of his camo make-up. But Skinner quickly finishes the conversation with "but anything else he tells you is a filthy lie."
The police question Willie next but he claims that it's impossible for him to fire a gun as he has crippling arthritis in his index fingers from Space Invaders in 1977 (it is never confirmed whether Willie meant the game or actual space invaders). The police eliminate Moe as a suspect with the help of a lie detector, also uncovering some disturbing secrets about Moe himself along the way. At the Simpson house, Marge discovers that Grandpa's gun, which she buried in the backyard, is missing and asks Grandpa where it is. After he complains that people blame him for everything, Marge leaves. Grandpa removes the gun itself from his sweater, stroking it and telling it that he had missed it bad.
At the station, Wiggum prepares to pour some coffee, but after finding out he is out of coffee, he drinks some warm cream. He begins to dream, and in a scene reminiscent of Twin Peaks, Lisa tells him to check Burns' suit for more clues. While checking the suit, he finds an eyelash and tests it for DNA. Wiggum finds that the eyelash matches Simpson DNA. At the same time, Burns wakes up from his coma and cries, "Homer Simpson!"
The police raid the Simpson home for more information. A gun is found in under the seat in Homer's car. Homer claims he has never seen the gun before in his life, but his fingerprints are all over it. When Wiggum discovers that the bullets in the gun match the one they took out of Mr. Burns, he arrests Homer for attempted murder. Later, while at Krusty Burger, Homer escapes from the police and heads for the hospital.
At the station, Waylon Smithers offers a $50,000 reward for Homer's capture, dead or alive. Lisa returns to the scene of the crime and, with the help of an intelligent pigeon, learns the identity of Burns' true assailant. At the hospital, Dr. Riviera discovers some startling information as well. When Mr. Burns shouted "Homer Simpson!" he wasn't giving the name of his gunman, it was because "Homer Simpson" was all he could say. The doctor leaves, and Homer himself, who had successfully infiltrated the hospital and reached Burns' ward, prepares to silence Burns for telling everybody that Homer shot him.
A police bulletin reports that Homer has been spotted at the hospital. Lisa, the police, and the rest of Springfield race to the hospital. Lisa gets there first, protesting to everybody that her father wouldn't hurt a fly. On entering the ward, everyone finds Homer shaking Mr. Burns vigorously, telling him to stop telling everyone that Homer shot him. As Homer continues to shake him, Burns finds his voice and asks, "Smithers, who is this beast that's shaking me?"
Homer loses it, snatches a gun from Wiggum and shouts at Burns to tell everyone that he never shot him... before. Burns just laughs, stating that Homer doesn't have the cranial capacity nor the opposable digits to operate a firearm. And with that, Burns reveals his true assailant... Maggie Simpson.
Burns begins telling his story from the point where he left the town meeting. With the success of his sun-blocker, he had felt like celebrating. He walked into the parking lot to find Maggie, alone, in the Simpson car. She appeared to be smiling. He asked what she was so happy about, and she held up a lollipop. Homer pulls that very same sucker out of his shirt pocket; he had picked it up off the car floor when he was searching for an ice cream cone he had dropped. It was also there that he had absent-mindedly handled the gun, which explained why his fingerprints were all over it. Burns had tried to wrestle the candy away from Maggie, which was proving difficult. Eventually, Burns' gun fell out of its holster into Maggie's hand and fired in Burns' direction. The gun and lollipop then fell out of her hands underneath the car seat.
Mr. Burns, losing strength, tried to find aid, but finding only a useless Jimbo, he gave up and collapsed on the sundial, where he used his last ounce of strength to suck out his gold fillings and swallowed them so as to keep paramedics from stealing them. Burns demands that Maggie be arrested, despite Marge's protests that the whole ordeal was an accident. Wiggum says no jury in the world will convict a baby - except maybe in Texas. (Although, as a police officer should know, it is not legally possible to charge a baby, or any child under 10.)
[edit] Alternate endings
Allegedly to keep the ending from being leaked from animators and writers, there were actually several different conclusions created. Most were nothing more than footage of various characters shooting Burns: Apu, Moe, Barney, and even Santa's Little Helper were featured as the gunmen. But there was also a full-length conclusion animated in which Smithers shot Burns and explained his doing so at Burns' bedside after Homer's wild chase. This footage was seen in "The Simpsons 138th Episode Spectacular".
[edit] Clues
A number of subtle clues, and a few red herrings, were planted in Part 1 for viewers who wanted to unravel the mystery. For example, after Mr. Burns says "You all talk big, but who here has the guts to stop me?", the camera pans across the entire crowd. All the people look at Burns and then at each other, as if hoping that someone else will do the deed — all except one. The only person in the whole crowd who keeps her eyes fixed squarely on Burns is Maggie.
Also, when Burns was viewing the oil pump he said, "Oh Pish Posh, it'll be like taking candy from a baby." Burns was trying to take candy from Maggie when he got shot. Burns' "Oh, it's you" when he sees his assailant shows that he knew the person who shot him. This eliminates several characters as Burns had not interacted with Moe, Barney, etc, in the events beforehand. The nonchalant way in which this is said also indicates that Burns did not feel threatened, and did not regard his assailant as dangerous (this eliminates Homer, who had earlier assaulted Burns in his office, and due to the fact that Burns never knows who Homer is).
Another interesting hint was during the special "Springfield's Most Wanted" that aired before the show. A list of potential assailants was shown, most of them previously identified as suspects. However, near the end of the list, a clip was shown of Maggie with an angry face sucking her pacifier. However, she at the time came out of left field, as no previous mention was made of her, leaving some of the viewers suspicious.
In Part 1, Mr. Burns receives a box of chocolates that has a picture of the Simpsons family underneath. The first piece of chocolate that Mr. Burns takes out reveals Maggie's face.
Much was made of the fact that Burns lay his hands on "W" and "S" on the sundial. It was assumed that these initials stood for the name of his assailant. When Burns receives chocolate from Homer, he talks about the family and says about Santa's Little Helper, "Oh there's that Simpson mutt." Grandpa's gun was a Smith & Wesson. SW could be reversed to mean WS, as in Waylon Smithers. SW flipped upside down makes MS, meaning Maggie Simpson (as Lisa points out in the end) and Marge Simpson. When Mr. Burns was talking with Skinner in his office there was a diploma in the background that said "W. Seymour Skinner." Also, Moe's liquor license reads Moe Szyslak, his last name being revealed. Sideshow Mel is also present, but reveals his name to be "Melvin Van Horn."
It was suggested that the assailant was not Skinner, as he had a silencer on his gun, but the shot that wounded Burns could be heard clearly. Moe also had a shot gun which would have done much more damage to Burns, indicating that someone else shot him (although one of the "alternate endings" features Apu firing multiple shots at Mr. Burns with a submachine gun at point-blank range, with Mr. Burns receiving only a single gunshot wound). Also, it is worth noticing that Sideshow Mel couldn't have shot Mr. Burns - when everyone is threatening him (Mr. Burns), Sideshow Mel is wielding a knife, and a gunshot was heard at the time of the incident. Jimbo and Marge also have an alibi, for as Mr. Burns staggers towards the sundial at the end of Part 1, he passes both of them.
When he collapsed at the sundial it can be seen that he does not have his gun in the belt because he lost it to Maggie.
In Part II, when the Simpsons are discussing the shooting while seated on the couch, Lisa remarks, "Well, I don't think anyone in this family is capable of attempted murder." At that point, Maggie, who is asleep on the floor, wakes up and sits up, as if that point caught her attention.
In the couch gag of the opening segment, when the Simpson family is put into a line-up, Maggie has her hands on her chest while the rest of the family have them being their backs, perhaps signaling it was her.
[edit] 3:00
When Mr. Burns was shot and stumbled over to the sundial and collapsed, a clock was heard in the background chiming 3:00. There are a few references to 3:00 in the episode:
- Bart leaves the classroom at 3pm every week.
- Homer delivers Mr. Burns's package back to him (Burns) at 3pm.
- In Moe's Bar the TV is on, showing an ad for "Pardon My Zinger, Weekdays At 3pm" This eliminates Smithers, as he says he never misses "Pardon My Zinger," as Sideshow Mel points out.
- Mr. Burns said "Have you ever seen the sun set at 3pm?" Soon after, he is shot.
- After Burns is shot, the way his arms land on the sundial are similar to a clock's hands at 3pm.
- Also, every clock seen in the episode shows 3 o'clock.
[edit] Trivia
- Willy claims he couldn't have shot Mr. Burns due to his arthritis, which he claims he received from battling space invaders in 1977. The game Space Invaders wasn't released until 1978, which explains Willy having never heard of it.
- At the end of the closing credits of the Part One episode, the Gracie Films logo sequence ends with a gunshot sound, referring to the theme of the episode.
- The three places that Mr. Burns crushes in his model of the town, Barney's Bowlarama, the Kwik-E-Mart, and the Nuclear Power Plant are all places where Homer has worked over the years.
- There is also another reference of Maggie as a "killer". In the episode Papa's Got a Brand New Badge, Homer is threatened to be killed by the mafia, after stopping their business. Just as the mafia is about to kill Homer, several gunshots wound all the members of the mafia. The hero (to Homer & Marge's side of the case) was of course, Maggie. The show also refers to Who Shot Mr. Burns? in the following line after Maggie saves Homer:
- Homer: Aw, she's taking a nap..
Marge: Yeah. Probably dreaming of the time she shot Mr. Burns.
Homer: She's just like Clark Kent. Whenever there's lots of excitement, she's nowhere to be found.
(Homer and Marge leave. Maggie wakes up and smiles right at the camera.)
- Homer: Aw, she's taking a nap..
- In "The Old Man and the Lisa" when Mr. Burns comes to the Simpsons house for Lisa, Homer shows him Maggie and she makes a gun shape with her hand. Mr. Burns then says "Oh yes, the baby who shot me."
- For part one, Moe Szyslak's surname was made up specifically to make him a stronger suspect when Burns falls at the sundial pointing to W and S, interpreted as M and S in this case. According to the DVD commentary, the name "Szyslak" came from a phonebook.
- In Part 2, Mr. Burns is seen to be in hospital room number 2F20, which is also the episode number of that particular episode.
- In the season 6 DVD box, the one that has the first part of the episode, there is an Easter Egg: if you take out the DVDs of the box, and take out the background of the box, you will find a secret picture that shows Maggie In Jail.
- In the Season 12 episode "Day of the Jackanapes", when Krusty announces his retirement, Marge remarks, "It's good for a show to go off the air before it becomes stale and repetitive." At this point, Mr. Smithers pops in the door and cries out, "Maggie shot Mr. Burns again!" This line, however, was cut in syndication due to the Beltway sniper attacks of 2002.
- Another reference was made was in The Cartridge Family. When Marge objected to the gun, she mentions, "Don't you remember when Maggie shot Mr. Burns?" Homer says, "I thought Smithers did it." Lisa replies with "That would've made a lot more sense."
- When the episode first aired, there was a write-in contest for any fan who could accurately guess who shot Mr. Burns. According to the writers on the DVD commentary for this episode, literally no one wrote in Maggie Simpson as the attempted murder suspect. Because they couldn't just leave the contest with no winner, they were forced to randomly select someone who had guessed Waylon Smithers.
[edit] Cultural references
- When Mr. Burns says, "I have a monopoly to maintain: I own the electric company and the water works, plus the hotel on Baltic Avenue," it is an obvious reference to the popular board game of the same name. Principal Skinner's claim that "that hotel is a dump" may refer to the fact that Baltic Avenue is the second cheapest piece of property on the Monopoly game board.
- Homer escaping from the overturned paddywagon is a homage to The Fugitive.
- The musical score that ends the Part 1 of the episode (when the credit rolls) is a parody of John Williams' Drummers' Salute, which is part of the musical score he wrote for Oliver Stone's movie JFK.
- Mystery Science Theater 3000 was playing at Moe's.
- The scene where Chief Wiggum has a dream in which Lisa speaks backwards is an obvious homage to Twin Peaks and Special Agent Dale Cooper's interaction with The Man from Another Place. Also, after Homer escapes from the paddywagon, the Squeaky-Voiced Teen speaks to his manager Diane, which is the same name as the unseen secretary that Agent Cooper dictates messages to.
- In the first part, Mr. Burns sings "hello lamp-post, what you knowin', I'm come to watch your power flowin'", which echo the lyrics of Simon & Garfunkel's '59th Street Bridge Song (Feelin' Groovy)'
- Sideshow Mel demonstrates deductive reasoning and logic similar to that demonstrated by noted fictional detective Sherlock Holmes. This connection is further noted by Mel's smoking of a pipe during his reflections, as Holmes was frequently known to do.
- The opening sequence of part two, wherein Smithers dreams that he merely dreamt shooting Mr. Burns, before going on to dream that they are in fact undercover detectives on the 1960s Speedway racing circuit (itself parodying The Mod Squad and Quinn Martin's programs), is similar to an incident on the 1980s soap opera Dallas, in which the events of an entire season (including an attempted murder) were explained away as being merely a character's dream.
- The title and the idea of these two episodes are also taken from the series Dallas. In Dallas, they had the "Who shot J.R." two episodes, the first of which ending a season, and the second opening the next season.
- The nightclub where Tito Puente and his band perform looks like the Tropicana from I Love Lucy.
- The nightclub is called 'Chez Guevara', a reference to Che Guevara.
- Groundskeeper Willie's interrogation, especially him crossing and uncrossing his legs, is a parody of the famous interrogation scene in Basic Instinct.
[edit] Quotes
- Grampa: The lamp's running away
Bart: Hey man, that's my dog.
Grampa: So long, lamp. - Mr. Burns: Ahh, soon that mighty apparatus will burst forth with its precious fluid. Almost sexual isn’t it, Smithers?
- Eddie: Hey Chief, I got an idea, why don't we check out that suit Burns was in when he got shot.</br>Chief Wiggum: Hey, did you have the backwards talking dream with the flaming cards, too?</br>Eddie: ...I'll drive.
- Smithers: [over intercom] Principal Skinner, this is your secretary. There is one last student here to see you.
Skinner: That's odd. I don't have a secretary...or an intercom! But send him in.
[Burns enters dressed like Jimbo]
Burns: Ahoy, there, Dean. I understand you're taking suggestions from students, eh? [sits on desk; groans as his knee bends painfully] Well, me and my fourth form chums think it would be quite corking if you'd sign over your oil well to the local energy concern.
Skinner: [clears throat] Mr. Burns?
Burns: Buh!
Skinner: It was naive of you think I would mistake this town's most prominent 104- year-old man for one of my elementary school students.
Burns: [menacing] I want that oil well. I've got a monopoly to maintain! I own the electric company, and the water works -- plus the hotel on Baltic Avenue!
Skinner: That hotel's a dump and your monopoly's pathetic. This school's oil well is not for sale, particularly to a blackhearted scoundrel like yourself.
Burns: I see. Then I'll just have to...attack you! [he flails like a sissy at the unflinching Skinner] I must have that oil. [pants] Smithers...Smithers, help me subdue [pant] this beast.
Smithers: [walking in] Sorry sir, this was all I could find. ["fires" a stapler at Skinner] Take that, and that! [staples land uselessly on a briefcase]
Skinner: Please don't waste those. - Superintendent Chalmers: Why is it when I heard the word "school" and the word "exploded", I immediately thought of the word "SKINNER"?!!
- Marge: I'm happy for the school. It sounds like this money's going to provide a lot of new opportunities.
Bart: Big deal. They didn't approve my idea; they said it was unfeasible.
Lisa: It is unfeasible to resurrect the dead, Bart. And even if the Three Stooges were alive I doubt they'd want to hang around with you.
Bart: Oh yeah. I guess they'd probably want to be with their families or something, huh? - Abe Simpson: Eh... you never know what you're capable of. I never thought I could shoot down a German plane, but last year I proved myself wrong.
- Waylon Smithers: And when he tried to steal our sunlight, he crossed that line between everyday villainy and cartoonish super-villainy.
Dr. Colossos: Bah! He was a rank amateur compared to Dr. Colossos! (Presses Colosso boots button on his belt, his boots grow until he is crushed against the ceiling of his cell). (Sighs) When is my lawyer coming? - Groundskeeper Willy: Grrrrr! I'll kill that Mr. Burns! And... wound... that Mr. Smithers!
- Pigeon: (making "cooing" noises) Clue! Clue!
Lisa: (gasps)Thats it! Oh, Mr. Pigeon, I'd kiss you if you weren't swimming with disease! - Burns: (stomping on a model of Springfield) Ah-ha-ha, a-ha-ha-ha! Take that Bowl-a-rama! Take that convieience mart! Take that Nuclear Power Pla...oh fiddlesticks.
- Dr. Hibbert (pointing at the camera): Well, I sure can't possibly solve this mystery... Can you?
Chief Wiggum (The person Dr. Hibbert was pointing at): Sure, heh, it's my job, right? I'll give it a shot. (A parody of The Cosby Mysteries where Bill Cosby in the end asks the viewer if they can solve the episode's mystery) - Homer: (loud) Say it Burns! Say I never shot you!... (calm) before.
- Mr. Burns (in Homer's head): Smithers, who is that ignoramus? (Mr. Burns ghosts appear with each "Who is that...?") Smithers, who is that lollygagger? Who is the blubberpot? Who is that baffleweed? Lummox? Puddinghead? Beanhead? Goon? Goldbricker? Goofball? Drizzlepuss? Fumblefist?
Homer: Stop it! Stop it!! STOP IT!!!
All eleven Mr. Burns ghosts: Look out!
Homer: Uh? (crashes through checkpoint)
Elderly guard: Just a second. (raises the now broken checkpoint)
- Homer spray paints "I am Homer Simpson" in huge letters in Mr. Burns' office
Mr. Burns: Who the devil are you? (Homer goes crazy) - Mr.Burns: Have you ever seen the sun set, at 3pm?
Captain McAllister: Yar! Once, when I was sailing round the arctic circle...
Mr. Burns: Shut up you! - Grampa Simpson: Sure, Smingers did it! Case closed. Now where's my hat? I'm going to the outhouse.
Lisa: We don't have an outhouse.
Homer: My toolshed! (running) Oh, Dad... - Lunch Lady Doris: The cafeteria staff are complaining about the mice in the kitchen... I wanna hire a new staff.
- Marge (to Lisa): I think you're a little young to solve an attempted murder... Why don't you solve the mystery of who put the mud in the freezer.
Bart: Who wants chocolate ice-cream?...
Homer: Me !, Me!, Me!,Me,Me! - Grampa Simpson: Thanks to Burns, I lost my home, my things and my buddy's collection of old sunbathing magazines.....</br>Old Man: (Appears to be the crazy old Jewish man): You bastard!!!
- Jasper: Hey, sidewalk's for regular walkin', not fancy walkin'. (Smithers struggles with him)</br>Smithers: (slurred) Get out of my way!!! </br>Jasper: You simmer down, I'll let you go. (Smithers shoots him in the left leg)
- (The town has just pulled the sun-blocking machine off, but it crashes into Shelbyville)</br>Krusty: Um, er... what town did we just crush?</br>Skinner: Shelbyville. </br>All: YAY!
- Dr. Riviera: Hi, everybody!
Mr. Burns: (to the tune of "Hi, Dr. Nick!") Ho-mer Simp-son!
Dr. Riviera: Okay... that was a little strange. How are you feeling?
Mr. Burns: Homer. Simpson, Homer. Ugh... Simpson!
Dr. Riviera: Hmm, that seems to be all you can say. When you were in that coma, could you feel your brain getting damaged? - Smithers: (Sounding very tired) Sir have you ha-had enough heh exercise for this morning?</br>Mr. Burns: No let's....Go another 20 miles. (goes over to the pinball machine and starts playing)
- Chief Wiggum: Alright, Colossos, you're free to go. But stay away from Death Mountain.
Dr. Colossos: But all my stuff is there! - Chief Wiggum: Homer Simpson, you're under arrest for attempted murder.
Homer: D'oh!
Chief Wiggum: Yeah, that's what they all say. They all say "d'oh". - Homer: Kids... Get out of the house. (deep breath) F.... (church bells ring, birds fly out of trees)
Flanders: (gasp) Dear Lord, that's the loudest profanity I've ever heard! - Lisa: Everybody in Springfield had a reason to shoot Mr.Burns, even us. (everyone groans in agreement) Bart, he broke your dog's legs. Grampa, he destroyed your home. And Dad, well, you kinda got berserk when he couldn't remember your name.
Homer: (angrily) BERSERK IS RIGHT! (calmly) May I have some iced tea please? - Marge: The police have such a strong case against Homer. Mr. Burns said he did it, they have Homer's DNA...
Lisa: They have Simpson DNA! It could have come from any of us, except you, since you're a Bouvier.
Marge: No! No, no, when I took your father's name, I took everything that came with it: including DNA.
Lisa: (giving up) OK, Mom... - Wiggum: We need you to get this DNA sample
Scientist: Wow, that's gonna take about eight to ten weeks! (Wiggum sighs and takes out a large pack of cigarettes.) Hey, did I say "weeks"? Because I meant seconds! - Squeeky Voiced Teen:Please drive to the service window
Wiggum: (drives round, then realizes his police van is too tall to get to the window) Aw heck, I don't wanna have to get out...I'll just go on the curb. (drives onto the curb and tries to lean over to the window; he fails, and the van falls over with the back doors opening, allowing Homer to climb out a la The Fugitive)
Jasper: (coming around the corner in his Model T) Damn fools! Drive throughs not for a-parking! (ploughs his car into the back of the van and drives it away)
Squeeky Voiced Teen:uh, diane I'll be taking my break now.
[edit] Contest
Viewers were invited to participate in a contest to guess who shot Mr. Burns. The winner would be animated on an episode of the show. No one, however, was ever animated on the show.
This was because, as the DVD audio commentary for the episodes reveals, no one officially guessed the right answer. Due to contest regulations, a winner had to be selected out of a random sample of entries. Since the winner did not have the right answer, the commentary reports that the individual was paid a cash prize in lieu of being animated.
The creators and writers added on the commentary that they were aware of one person who posted the correct answer to the Simpsons newsgroup online after the night of the broadcast. They were forbidden from contacting the person while the contest was underway, but after it ended they wanted to contact the individual. The answer came from a person using a college internet account, and after the summer the person's address was no longer valid and they were unable to track the person down. They issued an invitation on the DVDs for this person to reveal him or herself.
[edit] External links
- "Who Shot Mr. Burns?" episode capsule at The Simpsons Archive
- "Who Shot Mr. Burns?" episode capsule at The Simpsons Archivees:Who Shot Mr. Burns?
